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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I know what you are saying. Guess what? It’s role reversal. It’s hard. We aren’t used to being a parent to them. We are used to being their child.
Now we must correct them or guide them in the right direction. It feels awkward. We feel like a nag. We get frustrated and tired. You are now in a caregiver’s world. We empathize.
This forum is a great place to vent. If you care to share more we are here to listen and make possible suggestions.
Please give us more details, so we can provide better answers! Our loved ones each function on so many different levels that it's hard to give advice without specifics.
My husband (DH) has post-stroke cognitive deficits - which fluctuate. He is capable of a certain amount of learning and retention - BUT - his judgment sometimes goes astray, and he'll do things that endanger him.
My own go-to is to tell him, "Don't wreck yourself! We need to get you better, so that you CAN do (whatever it is) in the future!"
PLEASE NOTE: This is intended for a situation where a loved one *may* improve over time. With dementia, things will *not* improve.
Look at it from a different perspective: why do you have to talk to her about what she can't do? Put a better spin on it and approach the issue differently.
One possible approach is to suggest to her that you can show her an alternative or safer way, begin helping her, then gently back off if she eventually learns the new method. If dementia isn't involved, this is a good alternative approach, complimented by reinforcements.
Then reward her with something she likes, healthy food, or just coffee, tea, hot cider. Or bring out some flowers that you've already bought for her. Play her favorite music. Reward her, and creating bonding at a subconscious level.
I don't know what types of actions your mother's taking that bother you; perhaps you could share that so responses can be more on point. Specifically, have there been any diagnoses of dementia?
Whatever you do, any kind of corporal punishment or slapping is in my opinion totally out of line.
How old is your mom? Has she ever been given a cognitive test by her doctor? I would do this so you can understand what is happening to her. Also have her tested for a UTI. Blessings!
Your profile mentions nothing about Dementia. If Dementia is involved, telling her over and over will not get u anywhere. She forgets not long after u tell her. My Mom got like a child. I was doing something at the table with her and she kept touching something. Asked her not to touch it and she kept trying to. I smacked her fingers. Not hard but it surprised her and me too.
No doubt you are saying this because she might be doing something unwise. You don't describe much so it is a little hard to understand but I have had to do that with my mother who was making unwise financial choices. That is one example that tend to happen to the elderly. I would imagine you are trying to keep her safe in the manners you are suggesting.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Now we must correct them or guide them in the right direction. It feels awkward. We feel like a nag. We get frustrated and tired. You are now in a caregiver’s world. We empathize.
This forum is a great place to vent. If you care to share more we are here to listen and make possible suggestions.
Best wishes to you.
My husband (DH) has post-stroke cognitive deficits - which fluctuate. He is capable of a certain amount of learning and retention - BUT - his judgment sometimes goes astray, and he'll do things that endanger him.
My own go-to is to tell him, "Don't wreck yourself! We need to get you better, so that you CAN do (whatever it is) in the future!"
PLEASE NOTE: This is intended for a situation where a loved one *may* improve over time. With dementia, things will *not* improve.
One possible approach is to suggest to her that you can show her an alternative or safer way, begin helping her, then gently back off if she eventually learns the new method. If dementia isn't involved, this is a good alternative approach, complimented by reinforcements.
Then reward her with something she likes, healthy food, or just coffee, tea, hot cider. Or bring out some flowers that you've already bought for her. Play her favorite music. Reward her, and creating bonding at a subconscious level.
I don't know what types of actions your mother's taking that bother you; perhaps you could share that so responses can be more on point. Specifically, have there been any diagnoses of dementia?
Whatever you do, any kind of corporal punishment or slapping is in my opinion totally out of line.