Dad is 86 and has always taken care of everything from finances to yard mowing. Very independent. Since brain surgery he cannot drive and he has short term memory loss. He is very capable of taking care of himself such as bathing, cooking, cleaning but he can’t get or keep his medicine straight. I have no help caring for him and I could really use some me time.
The community centers won’t be all day. If you want all day then look into daycare. Some are connected to the assisted living facilities. Others are independent.
Some churches also have senior activities. You may have to be a member of the church.
Isolation is never a good idea. They need socialization and if you were to try to do it all yourself you would burn out in no time!
You should go and check out the options to see how well they are ran and if it is the right fit. A good one will welcome your presence. Visit every one in your vicinity to comparison shop.
Your dad will do better if you visit with him and then help him adjust by participating for a bit, even for short amounts of time.
Best of luck finding the best place that enriches dad's life and gives you some breathing room.
My Husband was a Veteran and a program through the VA paid for the Day Program.
He may not like that Adult Day Program but you should give it a try.
Many will have different activities for varying degrees of cognition.
If that does not work many Senior Centers have many programs all day and if you could get him there he could participate in a lot of activities.
This would not work if there is a possibility that he would just walk out.
I had gone from caring for an infant grandson till he was 20 months right into caring for Mom 24/7. After a yr I tried Daycare. The bus picked Mom up at 8am and left her off at 3pm. She was fed breakfast and lunch. She was there 3 days a week, MWF. They bathed her for me and she received PT. My husband felt we could drive her. It was 18 miles round trip and took about an 1 1/2 out of the time we had together. When she left, I was able to get a shower and then we went to breakfast and ran errands. The bus was part of the cost so why not use it.
I had a good experience. Mom was easy and they were good to her.
Have you considered contacting Council on Aging in your area? They will do a needs assessment on your father.
If he qualifies they will send an aide out in four hour shifts. They can aide in bathing, cooking light meals, tidying up their rooms, changing bedsheets, playing a game of cards, doing puzzles, etc.
You can run errands or go have lunch with a friend while they are with your dad.