I have been taking care of my 83 year old mother for 2 months. My blood pressure is already 177/106. It use to be stable. She has called me a :itc$ on several occasions, refused meals and demanded something else, starts arguments, CONSTANTLY says she’s a burden, I could go on. I divorced in July and moved back to my hometown (family lives) Aug 31. I wish I wouldn’t of moved. She suffered from a UTI on September 19. No one wants her. She’s hateful and rude to everyone, but totally dependent on me for all her needs. I’m mentally and physically exhausted! I have lupus and CVID (so much more), since everything happened so suddenly I feel like I’m fixing to snap. I’m so angry and disappointed. I honestly haven’t grieved the ending of my marriage. I don’t have health insurance... because I don’t have time to care for myself and my needs. I’m constantly making her appointments with DHS workers, physical therapy, cooking, cleaning, washing, administering meds.... you know. My mom intentionally starts arguments with me and I know it’s because she wants to live in her home. Problem is she has bed bugs. I’m not going there. I bought new clothes, etc bc I don’t think I could handle anything else. It’s a daily fight and I’m at the point of saying okay. My niece lives there but I do not believe she can handle caring for her. I’m so broken

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How difficult are bedbugs? Does everyone get reactions to them? I know with fleas, some do and some don’t. Still, who wants bugs, just gross.

Are they extremely hard to banish? I don’t even know the process of extermination.
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So is your niece living with your mom?
Sorry, I don’t quite understand your post.

It truly sounds like you are at the end of your rope. I would be concerned about your blood pressure. My blood pressure was high awhile back when I was the full time caregiver to my mom. They doubled my meds.

For you I feel it’s worse because the stress is going to effect your other health issues. Please don’t neglect yourself while caring for your mom. That’s easy to do. You have to put your health first.

I’m sorry about your marriage ending. You deserve to grieve that loss. I’m so sorry that your mom mistreats you. I certainly hope that you get relief soon.

The bed bug situation has to be awful. Can you get an exterminator to take care of that? Maybe your mom’s is being extra difficult because of the aggravation of the bed bug bites.

Take care and many, many hugs.
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I would call APS and explain the situation, that your mom needs help with medication administration, cooking, and basic activities of daily living, but that you are no longer able to manage these things for her. Let them know about the bed bug problem too. Especially for the elderly, the bites can create a risk for infection, especially if they get inflamed from scratching.
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Kristy911 Nov 2019
Public health will be here today. I haven’t talked about her bed bug issues bc ultimately it’s not only embarrassing but I’ve “ debugged” it (1800) plus new furniture. I can’t afford that again. I’m full of guilt and anger. It’s such a horrible position to be in. I never knew...
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