Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am with funkygrandma on this. If you are getting sick because you have contracted a cold or Noro virus or any of the other "bugs" that float around community living facilities then I would question their cleaning practices and if they are properly cleaning areas when a resident gets sick. On the other hand if you are getting sick due to stress that is another thing. Would it help if you visited but do so from "afar". Watch her have lunch, pop in when she is napping. It is difficult watching a loved one decline and they are no longer the person that you knew. Even more difficult when they do not know who you are. What you decide to do is YOUR decision. And you will have to make peace with that decision.
NOW...if your mom had been abusive I more than get it and I firmly believe that to visit someone that has been abusive is detrimental to YOUR mental health. If this is the case you are under no obligation to visit.
If it’s making you sick to visit her, don’t go. If there’s a risk of carrying an infectious disease to her and others there, don’t go. Everyone deserves to stay as healthy as possible, and if your decisions help all of you to do that, you’re doing the right thing.
Are your sicknesses really all in your head and just an excuse to not go and see your mom the way she is now? I don't know, I'm just asking. I know it can be very hard seeing a loved one who is no longer the person you knew from years earlier and perhaps you're allowing her disease of dementia to get the best of you, thus making you sick(or what you think is sick). Perhaps it's time to cut back on your visits and time to see a good therapist about what you're feeling. Best wishes.
I suggest you give yourself a break from visiting. I don't see any info about your mum other than she has dementia or about your relationship with her. How often do you normally go? Obviously it is too much for you.
Would she know that you have stopped visiting? Could you explain to her that you are not feeling well? You could let the staff know that you are taking a break.
Caregivers have to look after themselves, and sometimes that means putting you and your needs first. Your mum is being looked after by professionals. Maybe it's time for some of that for you. Talk to your doctors about how you are feeling and consider seeing a therapist. Caregiving is very stressful and can be very hard on emotional and physical health. I was a distance caregiver and ended up only visiting my mum a few times a year. We had a very difficult relationship and I needed my space from her. (((((hugs)))) to you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you are getting sick because you have contracted a cold or Noro virus or any of the other "bugs" that float around community living facilities then I would question their cleaning practices and if they are properly cleaning areas when a resident gets sick.
On the other hand if you are getting sick due to stress that is another thing.
Would it help if you visited but do so from "afar". Watch her have lunch, pop in when she is napping.
It is difficult watching a loved one decline and they are no longer the person that you knew. Even more difficult when they do not know who you are.
What you decide to do is YOUR decision.
And you will have to make peace with that decision.
NOW...if your mom had been abusive I more than get it and I firmly believe that to visit someone that has been abusive is detrimental to YOUR mental health. If this is the case you are under no obligation to visit.
Simple solutions for simple problems.
I know it can be very hard seeing a loved one who is no longer the person you knew from years earlier and perhaps you're allowing her disease of dementia to get the best of you, thus making you sick(or what you think is sick).
Perhaps it's time to cut back on your visits and time to see a good therapist about what you're feeling.
Best wishes.
I suggest you give yourself a break from visiting. I don't see any info about your mum other than she has dementia or about your relationship with her. How often do you normally go? Obviously it is too much for you.
Would she know that you have stopped visiting? Could you explain to her that you are not feeling well? You could let the staff know that you are taking a break.
Caregivers have to look after themselves, and sometimes that means putting you and your needs first. Your mum is being looked after by professionals. Maybe it's time for some of that for you. Talk to your doctors about how you are feeling and consider seeing a therapist. Caregiving is very stressful and can be very hard on emotional and physical health. I was a distance caregiver and ended up only visiting my mum a few times a year. We had a very difficult relationship and I needed my space from her. (((((hugs)))) to you.