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Everyone is entitled to their own belief's and feelings, and no-one's feelings can be considered right or wrong, they are what they are, and we are all here for support, Gershun, you musn't feel like a grinch, it's good to express and hear the thoughts of others, and there are many people out there feeling just as you do. I just wish that people could accept that you can do what you feel is the right thing to do, and that you don't have to concede to anyone's expectations of you over this period of the year, or any other time. You are your own person, and are free to make your own choices, and if anyone in your family or otherwise, has a problem with this, then that problem is at their door, not yours. I say this because I celebrated christmas every year until 3 years ago, when I discovered God's truth, and realised that God does not condone mixing paganism with Christianity, and again, this is my belief, and I will not judge anyone for believing differently. Telling my family that I will no longer be partaking of christmas was a bit difficult, but only because I did not want them to be disappointed with me, because my fault is that I care too much about what people think of me, but since I did do that, I feel so so much happier about this time of the year, I treat it as any other day of the year after I asked myself "why, and for who am I doing this ?". I have my money in tact in the bank, and no longer worry about where I am going to get the extra money from, stress in busy shopping malls, all to fulfil the expectations of others on me and to continue a tradition some people many years ago started that has no application in my life today. My family got over it, and now accept and even some of them respect my belief. I now do what I think is the right thing for me to do, because my destiny is in my hands, not in the hands of any other mortal.
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DesertGrl53 Dec 2018
I admire your courage. We have not done much for Christmas the last several years because I feel as you do. But this year my MIL, who lives with us, turned 90, and I realized she doesn't have many more years in which to really enjoy Christmas at home. So I'm going to decorate a little more than usual because it may be the last time. Next year she may be in a nursing home.
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I think I'm losing my mind........................LOL
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Sendhelp Dec 2018
Now you have company!
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Sendme, Joy to the world, the Lord has come! Right? Right?

Feel the joy Send! Come on...........FEEL IT.................................!!!!!!!

Come on Send, I see the corners of your mouth turning up just a tad, that's it.................GOOD GIRL!

I knew you had it in you! :)
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Sendhelp Dec 2018
Joy Joy Joy Joy, down in my heart.....
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Our Christmas lights are finished.....Oh Joy!
Still waiting to feel it!
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I was thinking of paying it forward today but I was just too damn tired!! LOL

Maybe tomorrow?
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Yeah, the less fortunate, are they only going to get two meals a year at the table?
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Thx Willie! I feel like a big scrooge for even starting this thread. I think I'll go paint my face green and hover in alleyways till the 25th. Muah ha ha!!
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Sendhelp Dec 2018
There was a green Grinch mask at Walmart, I really wanted it!,

An Amazon box arrived, it was green: Printed was: "Did you order another gift for yourself?" The Grinch was pictured holding a box.

Yes, my hubs ordered himself another gift! Lol. So funny to me.
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😠 . Gershun don't let anyone guilt you into feeling even worse about not enjoying the holidays. You have a good reason to be sad, and so do all the rest of us who aren't feeling the joy.
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Yes, I am very happy Christ was born and I am happy for anybody who can find ways to enjoy Christmas. I just get depressed this time of year. No matter how hard I try to remember what Christmas is supposed to be celebrating I still get sad.

But I'll try....................harder!!
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jjmummert Dec 2018
It's all far too commercialized, for sure. And annoying because of that.
Just do what you can to keep it simple. I've been there,...from fury at the chaos and greediness of it all....to a quiet appreciation of the solace of winter. Simple gifts to grandkids only (announced ahead of time in a letter of intentional simplification to my kids and parents)...and the switch to "the gift of time"... meals together, movie time or concerts together, outdoor hikes, volunteer time together,baked goodies to share, etc. Everyone agreed and it's been sane ever since. Oh yeah, I try to avoid any kind of store on the weekends during the shopping season.
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Can you celebrate the true Christmas? That our Redeemer has come.  I try to ignore the commercial version, certainly do not spend it with family who are hateful to me.
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Well Gershun I read your question and I have to say I feel very opposite of you. I love Christmas. Its that happy feeling that Christ was born He was sent here to save us we have that relationship with God again as Adam did before the fall.
I feel love in the air, I know there is a lot of commercialism but use that... to tell the Gospel who cares if when Jesus was born that is not what is going to save you or not save you the point is that He was born! All the heavenly hosts singing! WOW!!!
Yes family have their issues, yes people are two-faced. Heck I deal with that daily and I am not gonna let anyone get me down in the dumps! Alleluia Jesus is Born! Celebrate the coming of Christ and spread the word!
May God Bless you during this season!
hgn
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No, do not like it. I took a step in a new direction this year and volunteered to serve meals at a local soup kitchen that day. It will get me away from family who only condemn me, get me away from situations in which I am only set up to fail at, and I might feel like I'm part of something good if even in a small way.
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To be a bit cheerier, I have had problems with Christmas for years, but I have learned that if you don’t do something special, you feel that nobody loves you. This year looked crook, as both my daughters were going to stay with an in-law and that left me and Tony with nobody. Then my sister (in a wheelchair) and my brother-in-law (bed-bound in the later stages of cancer) ended up with no-one to spend it with, and asked us if we could help. So now I am organising a seafood Christmas (suitable for the weather but not for my English upbringing), minus shellfish (to which my brother-in-law is allergic), and working out how all this gets served next to the bedside plus wheelchair without ending up on the carpet. That has been enough to cheer me up – like solving a puzzle. Perhaps next year we volunteer to help with people with even more disabilities – this year can be a training run!
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Treeartist Dec 2018
I love this! I think you have discovered one of the joys of Christmas. I hope your seafood Christmas is awesome! Merry Christmas!
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No I feel the same way. The holidays are a very depressing time of year for me. Mostly because the only family I have is a narcissistic elderly grandfather. And every year around this time he lashes out on me. I don’t have any friends to talk to or spend the holidays with. Tonight he called me a bastard and told me to go to hell because I was ignoring him complaining about something. Then told me I’m killing him just like I killed his wife. When in fact I was the only one picking them up off the ground time and time again to get them to the hospital. I’ve given the majority of my adult life to take care of them. College, friends, family, relationships have all gone out the window. It always gets worse every Holliday season.
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Gershun Dec 2018
Well, Ryan I'm sorry for you. You must feel very alone all the time, let alone at Christmas. I hope that the new year brings you opportunities to get out and mingle again. It's never good to be all alone especially with some ornery so and so giving you grief.
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Just on a side note. I don't want to piss on people who do love Christmas. I know there are those out there that love it or at the very least tolerate it. And those people I don't wish to offend. If you enjoy the season and have fun then by all means have fun! Forgive me for raining on anyone's parade by starting this thread.

Having said that, I'm glad I provided an outlet for some to get their Christmas frustrations out too.
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The stress of it overwhelms me. Now for example I am just getting over a bad case of bronchitis, have a chronic migraine, have completely lost my best pair of glasses. My husband and I went through all the trash twice which was miserable and resulted in nothing. I have family starting to arrive Thursday and I don't feel ready and am just wiped out. I feel as though I am losing my mind. I had a stressful legal issue last week and everything has just gone downhill. So I agree there is always something about Christmas that goes wrong.
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I completely agree with you!
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You have company. I hate Christmas, the greed, the expectations to spend money they don't have for gifts they can't afford to give to people they may not even know that well or even like. I'm an atheist and I get tired of christians talking how it's a Christian holiday when it's really based on pagan holidays.

I hate hearing the music till a few days before the day. There are a lot of the songs that I appreciate the music.

Since Mom died this April and my three sisters' horrible treatment of me resulted in my going no-contact, I plan on this Christmas for once being my way: quiet and relaxing and only doing I want.
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BlackHole Dec 2018
Craft a perfect day for yourself on 12/25, Mountainmoose. You deserve to heal and restore on your own terms.
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Christmas is tough for me. I've hated it secretly for many years, even though I enjoyed the season as a child when my family was together. And don't get me started on Christmas songs. But. I've resolved to embrace it and find the true "reason for the season." Which for me is friendship and gratitude.
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I am not thrilled with it myself
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I don't outright hate any holidays but certainly dislike them. Working retail will destroy most enjoyment over holidays. I'm hating the whole commercialization of Christmas. I'm not made of money, if I can't afford a new car or jewelry for myself, I can't afford it for another person. I can only afford so much for the people. I wasn't about to spend money on a Nintendo Switch or Wii for nephews. Looking at the history of Christmas and symbolism, I think it's interesting and a little cool. So what if Christmas is in December. It was done to stamp out paganism. It's the evangelical Christians that are screaming about the paganism in Christmas. Worry about the message of Christmas and the Bible and not when Christmas is really held. It's no small wonder that I have mostly fell away from Christianity.
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I don't hate Christmas, but I don't feel any joy either. Somebody mentioned having to live up to everyone else's expectations - I truly hate that people in the family will tell us that they don't care if we follow certain traditions but at the same time they make their hurt/displeasure obvious at every slight deviation. The walking on eggshells plus the actual travel and prep for the big day are exhausting.
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Gershun Dec 2018
Exactly cwillie, the expectations. Everyone in my family seems to have some animosity towards someone who is there on that day so it's not just walking on eggshells, it's biting my tongue all night and trying to avoid eye contact cause I know someone in some part of the room is rolling their eyes and wants me to share in their moment. And of course the person who they are rolling their eyes about is very hawk-eyed, looking around to see who is rolling their eyes about them.

And don't get me started on the drinking. I can't remember the last time I saw my one older sister when she wasn't just sh*t-faced. Staggering out t he door at the end of the night. She even needs help putting her shoes on.

It's all just sad!
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JoAnn - I’ve always dreamed of spending Christmas in Paris.

Or

Renting a house on the beach on the beautiful Oregon Coast - for the entire month of December till a little past New Years. This is a whole lot more likely than Paris - maybe next year. But probably not.

Where do you dream of spending Christmas?
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BlackHole Dec 2018
Do it, rainmom!
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Christmas for me has not been the same since my girls and GSon grew up. Aunts that used to have parties are gone. Cousins not that close. I have cut back the last few years. I used to clean and bake up a storm. Because I had a lot of leftover baking last year, I cut back this year. Everyone gets their favorite.

Since my daughter was an LPN and later an RN, I haven't done a traditional Turkey dinner in years. I make Lasagna. If daughter is working Xmas and maybe late, it can be kept warm. Salad and bread round it out. Cookies for dessert.

I agree, we have commercialized Christmas too much. The lives they show on the commercials are not normal lives. So depression sets in.

When parents and Aunt were alive, Holidays were fun. Brothers and sister still around. My youngest brings it up how it just not fun anymore. And its not. Parents, Aunt and sister gone. Brother 8 hrs away. Other one doing his own thing. Just a quite day. Thinking about going away next year.
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I like “moments” of the Christmas season. Lovely light displays and decorations (other people’s!). Every now & then, a song rings my bell. Finding old Christmas TV commercials on YouTube. Food!

But overall, the season sucks the life out of me. Disproportionately. That’s who I am in November and December. Take it or leave it.

Other people’s expectations have been wearing me down - since I was old enough to say my own name. The last 2 months of every year intensify that “ick.”

Ignoring expectations is not the same as eliminating expectations. But ignoring is all I have. And it’s challenging, at times.

Most of the folks in my life mean no harm with their expectations. They simply cannot fathom why anyone would feel the way I feel. (Um, because I do. Because I’m not you.)
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I also hate the Christmas season. I also suffer from SAD and that makes it very difficult. I was working full time and my kids were in daycare. I barely had enough time to myself to de stress, never mind live up to expectations concerning this crazy holiday.
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Although “hate” is a strong word, no, you are not wrong. There are many things that make up why each of us feels the way we do. I am one of those who isn’t looking forward to any celebrations. Because my husband is bedridden, I’ve decided this year to have Christmas Eve here so he can see his grandchildren. That’s the only reason. My house is a mess and isn’t decorated. No one can help because I have a large, unfriendly dog, I work 20 hours per week with young children and I’m exhausted by the time I get home, at 6:30PM still needing to get dinner ready.

Christmas isn’t what I remember, even 10 years ago. We had some money back then and I loved to decorate, even outside lights. We had at least 2 trees and sometimes 3. I loved to shop, wrap and cook.

Now, this is just another day to get through. Christmas ads are shoved in our faces from July. If you can’t buy your spouse a car or expensive jewelry or your kids the latest techno, there’s something wrong with you.

No, I don’t appreciate Christmas any longer. I miss the old days when it was fun.
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I'm not hating Christmas but I am feeling really sad about it. My mother put her heart and soul into it every year, year in year out, in the teeth of my father's "oh God not bloody Christmas again!" attitude; and now everything about it just reminds me painfully of how inadequate our appreciation was. And when I'm not sad about that, I'm even sadder that a woman with so much love in her heart could only find this annual ritual as a way to express it.

Oh dear got to stop typing - !
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Gershun Dec 2018
Sorry CM. I didn't mean to trigger your sad memories.
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You're definitely not alone. Christmas really is just another day on the calendar .
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Yep. I hate Christmas.

25 years working in retail will do that. Six day work weeks, 12 hour days from the week prior to Thanksgiving thru to the end of December. My last ten years I was a district manager with stores in three states and company HQ in another state. This meant six flights every month - bad enough in the off season but airports are a special kind of hell pretty much most of November and all of December.
Dont even get me started on mall parking lots..!

Then, of course - there was my mother...

From my earliest Christmas memory until two years before she passed - every moment of every Christmas had to be her way. If you didn't play along, she went above and beyond her usual making your life miserable - taking it to a whole new level.

There was the winter she bought me a season pass to the Oregon Symphony so I could go with her - oh, joy - even though I asked her not to. With my job in retail and it being Christmas, I was short on time and even shorter on energy.
Every single performance I fell asleep within minutes of taking our seats. Naturally- that ticked her off. Seems I wasn’t expressing enough of required gratitude- by falling asleep - even though I begged her not to include me in this... but mom needed someone to go with her - to accompany her - to drive her.

As my parents started declining - probably the last five Christmas’s in their home - mom still planned her usual elaborate “family Christmas”. Which meant I spent the day before cleaning her kitchen, bathroom, living room and dining room. And yes, it took all day as even when my mother was in her prime she would NEVER clean the house. Next - I had to arrive at dawn on Christmas Day - leaving hubby and Rainman at home still snug in their beds - they were to arrive later with “the guests” - guess that made me “the help” - so I could start the cooking, rearrange furniture, last minute decorating, etc. Late morning my brothers and their families arrived - one set treated me and mine like dirt and the other set acted like hubby, Rainman and I were invisible. Then, several torturous hours of unwrapping - my mother would blow a gasket if all 15 of us didn’t open our gifts one at a time and at her approved snails pace. Lastly, the meal - dragging it out for at least two hours and acting as if SHE cooked it - after all of that - I got to stay after everyone went home...to clean up. Yeah - good times.

Those years Rainman, hubby and I didn’t even try to have our own Christmas traditions. For us - Christmas was celebrated on the 26th.

So yeah - I hate Christmas. Still. Even though I “retired” from retail nearly 15 years ago and my mom passed two years ago.

I wouldnt bother with it at all if it weren’t for my husband - who is a saint and a far better man than I likely deserve. Hubby had a horrible childhood - some years no tree and/or no presents. Dad was drunk and mom was working a grift.

So - I go thru the motions for him - trying to seem genuine in my enthusiasm. If you could see his delight with a beautifully decorated tree and lots of lights on the house - you’d understand.

Even so, I still hate Christmas!
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jjmummert Dec 2018
I think you have a movie script here. 🤗
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