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As everyone pointed out, as POA not only do you not have to tell your siblings anything...you actually have an obligation to keep those financial affairs to yourself.

Ok...so....stop talking about anything having to do with his money or assets. If they bring up the topic...just say “I have a legal obligation to keep his financial business private”. Say nothing more about it and change the subject. Repeat this phrase as often as the topic comes up, If they continue after a few times of hearing this from you (and nothing else) you could then Walk away or hang up whenever the topic is brought up.
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justgettingby Sep 2019
It's best to have every detail of everything you do meticulously in order. As POA you just set yourself up to be sued if you become secretive to siblings. Remember it's relatively easy for them to put efforts together to hire an attorney, and then you will be required to prove that you did things on the up and up. If you did, you have no worries...
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Your father, not your siblings, appointed you, not your siblings, to be his DPOA.

It rather sounds as though your father made a carefully considered choice, there.

When you say "extreme opposition" - what are your siblings doing to oppose your decisions?
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Spotlover Sep 2019
I understand what you are saying the exact situation is that both parents were living near me and I was the primary caretaker as far as assisting them with dr's appts, grocery shopping, etc.  Mom took care of the bills and dad basically did nothing except monitor his investments and donate to different charities.  Mom passed in March and dad's mental state went downhill fast and I got a letter from his doctor stating that he is not mentally capable of making any financial, medical or legal decisions on his own.  Since I am by myself, up in age and have my own medical issues I agreed that dad should move closer to my younger sister who has more backup with her immediate family, my brother and his kids are closer to her as well.  Waiting to move into assisted living he has been living with her in her house and I have been reimbursing his living expenses.  I am appalled at what she has been submitting for food reimbursement but I haven't said anything because he is not paying for electric, water, internet, etc. And she is doing his laundry, cooking meals, etc.  Throughout this period of time both she and my brother has tried to discredit me with dad's attorneys and his investment manager trying to find some basis to overturn the POA, even trying to accuse me of co-oercing my parents into naming me POA and executor and alluding that neither parent was cared for properly while living here and that mom's death was my fault. Fortunately both of these people know me and have told my siblings that they will not get involved with family disagreements. It's quite the opposite in that my siblings don't seem to have an issue with trying to spend my father's money on things he doesn't need and have tried to buy things and send me the receipt for reimbursement without consulting me. My brother will send me emails, for example, stating that dad's car tags have expired when they haven't.  I have tried to explain to him and have even sent him documentation showing they haven't but to no avail and I have also explained to him now that dad is taking up permanent residence in Florida that all that has to be transferred.  Both siblings have proceeded to send me emails that are abusive, vindictive, cruel bringing up things from 40 years ago, telling me that my father hates me and wants nothing to do with me.  Very hateful and hurtful words.  I send a copy of the bank statement to my brother with everything identified so as to be transparent.  I have done everything in my power to work with them but the emotional abuse I'm taking for no reason goes beyond what anyone should have to deal with.  So the reason for my questions were because it is getting to the point where I do not want any interaction with them and just want to handle the job that my father gave to me.  I hope they do take me to court because with the documentation that I have accumulated they look like the ones who are not doing what is best for our father.
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I second MountainMoose's and AlvaDeer's advice on documenting.   Since I did that when I worked for attorneys, it was easy to use that system.   I used an Excel spread sheet, with categories for various aspects.  I'd be more than glad to share with you if you want suggestions.    

I first did this with my sister's Trust, when I was challenged.   So monthly I e-mailed that month's spread sheet with work done, time spent, miles and out of pocket expenditures.    Questions were still asked, making it clear the individual wasn't even bothering to read the spread sheets.

So I said that the spreadsheets were explanations; READ THEM before you waste my time calling again!    Harrassment stopped.  

Spotlover, I suspect though that your siblings are jealous, and want to make decisions but I'll bet they don't want the responsibility of carrying out those decisions.    I suspect, as with me, it was harrassment perhaps arising from jealousy.

(I also made it clear I would charge for the duplicate inquiries and the eventual distributions would reflect the (harrassment) inquiries.
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So agreeing with others, Spotlover, though I completely understand where you're coming from, wanting to share information (and get moral support I'd wager). When I took over as POA for my mom, all us sisters shared information completely. We worked very well together (I live in a different state). I made a monthly statement of all Mom's business and mailed it to them so everyone knew it was all taken care of and proper.

Ensure you have an effective paperwork system so it's easy to store and find any piece of paper. (PM me if you'd like ideas. I'm happy to share.)

When I left my home and moved in with Mom as her caregiver, the dynamic changed. My sisters turned into Full Narcissists and took delight in arguing everything and criticizing everything I did. It was hell.

Then the accusations of theft started and their torment got even worse. After Mom's death, when Mom's lawyer got involved with "elder abuse" accusations the only thing that saved me was I had receipts for everything, and I documented actions or transfers that were out of the ordinary. I had a great filing system that helps project a "professional" work ethic (and saved a lot of time). Everything was documented to the hilt.

When Sister 2 questioned me with a list of questionable transfers (with answers demanded by Mom's attorney) I audio-taped our conversation. It's in my safe. The tape recorded all the questions and my answers and S2's on-speaker phone conversation to S1 to tell her everything was "on the up and up" and she was satisfied nothing was wrong.

My cautionary tale is that harassment could get worse. Certainly, you're doing your level best to handle all Father's business strictly correctly. Document like crazy. While Father's business is your primary focus, you must protect yourself.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this tough situation and it's being made tougher. Best wishes to you.
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You do not owe, and in fact should not share any financial information with your siblings. I agree with Tothill and Garden Artist. You are acting FOR your father, on HIS behalf, doing for him what he himself would do to the best of your ability. I also agree that it might be an excellent idea to get the "lawyer letter" explaining needs for privacy of your father's affairs.
IF these siblings want to cause you trouble, however, they may try. They may haul out their OWN lawyer, and try to demand an accounting, claiming in court that they suspect you of all sorts of financial things.
Keep meticulous letters and diaries. The diaries should be hand written in ink with no tear outs (strike through mistakes and initial). They should describe a brief note on your day, what you did if anything to represent your Father's affairs; for me with my brother, simple as his estate is, I have had all SORTS of things come up, from disposal of his demolished truck problems to insurance company things. The diary has benefited me, but also is a record. Then, as to all his records, I keep them carefully divided in manila envelopes, and in a VERY attractive wine box in my room where they reside altogether and easily grabbed to show what rentals I have paid, what bills, and etc. Everything is there. Record keeping, checks your wrote, to whom, copies of checks you wrote for him all should be there. As I said, METICULOUS records. These, if you are ever drawn into court, go with you, and the appearance will be brief.
But be sure you keep a record of everything, and of every call you receive from this group, because you may need it.
Sorry the sibs are being an annoyance, because even on an easy estate, none of this is easy. There are visits to post office for forwarding, the constant confusion of creditors, the constant copying of documents, the changing of address for everything. It is NOT an easy task. If I had a sibling I TRUSTED (I have no other sibs) I would hand over this stuff in a second. It has taken 6 months to bring it all together in some organized way.
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marymary2 Sep 2019
Exacted right on siblings "you trust". If I handed duties over to my wealthy sister and her husband, they would stay at the Four Seasons, dine as they normally do at expensive restaurants ordering $500 bottles of wine and list those expenses as necessary to helping my mother - while I starve myself and skimp while doing all the work to help her....
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As Tothill stated, you have an obligation, a fiduciary one, to your father, NOT to your siblings.    That obligation includes keeping his affairs private.

Reread the POA, find the clause on maintaining privacy, or if you can't find it, contact the attorney who drafted it and ask for a letter to the siblings reiterating that you serve as your father's behest, not their's.   

And don't bother telling them anything further.    It's not your obligation to keep them informed.
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"Legally do I have to get their approval or can a decision be made in spite of it. "

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you do not need their approval and you can make a decision in spite of it. You're acting in behalf of your father as if you were your father himself. That's the kind of authority that he has given you. He trusted you with this not them. So take the authority granted to you by the POA and move full steam ahead!
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Your siblings have no legal right to know anything, and the less you tell them the better it will be for you. You have the durable POA, you make the decisions and maintain the accounting for your father. If they get upset, so be it.
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It sucks when families aren't all on the same wavelength. Just remember that your father chose you and not any of them, so obviously he trusted your abilities and integrity.
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As his POA you are required to keep his financial affairs private, yes, even from your siblings. They have no say.
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