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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Mostly Independent
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Her finances are a big mess and I need to step in, can I just take control or do I have to let her lose everything because she doesn't agree with my decisions and thinks she can take care of her finances?
I would say if Moms finances are so messed up there is some decline. Your profile doesn't say anything about Dementia. I didn't have to activate my POA. When Mom couldn't do it anymore I took over. But she gave it up to me too.
You need to read the POA document first, because they aren’t all the same. Sometimes, they only become active if the POA donor becomes incompetent. Normally, they can’t over-ride the wishes of someone who is still competent, but provide an alternative signature/ decision maker (for example, my daughter gave me a POA when she was going overseas for a while). This means that you have either to convince your mother that she needs to hand over managing to you, or you have to get a decision made (eg by a doctor) that she is not competent. Otherwise, yes, she just chooses to blow the lot.
It might help if you can get her to an accountant or financial planner, and best if you have enough information to set out a reasonably clear summary of the mess she is in. It would be good if the professional you choose can provide a ‘worst case scenario’ of what might happen to her if she doesn’t hand over to you. She may well believe them even if she doesn’t believe you. You might then be able to move on to the ‘therapeutic fibs’ that many people recommend, along the lines of ‘the doctor says that you must….’. You may need to provide a brief explanation in advance so that the professional knows the basic situation.
Remember the advice that many people give, to keep any financial dealings with her quite separate from your own personal finances. Make sure that you provide no ammunition to a creditor to say that you have taken responsibility for her debts.
Being named Power of Attorney gives you no immediate powers. It needs to be activated. Read the document and see how to activate the power of attorney. The language is usually on the last page near the signatures. Once it is activated, you can exercise any of the powers listed in the document and hopefully that includes controlling her finances.
I hope your POA is durable. You just have to step in. I had the same situation. I just had to keep telling my mother about the financial mistakes she had made and what that was costing her needlessly. You may have to say it many times but once this situation reaches the point I believe you are at there is no rational alternative.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It might help if you can get her to an accountant or financial planner, and best if you have enough information to set out a reasonably clear summary of the mess she is in. It would be good if the professional you choose can provide a ‘worst case scenario’ of what might happen to her if she doesn’t hand over to you. She may well believe them even if she doesn’t believe you. You might then be able to move on to the ‘therapeutic fibs’ that many people recommend, along the lines of ‘the doctor says that you must….’. You may need to provide a brief explanation in advance so that the professional knows the basic situation.
Remember the advice that many people give, to keep any financial dealings with her quite separate from your own personal finances. Make sure that you provide no ammunition to a creditor to say that you have taken responsibility for her debts.
Good luck in a difficult situation.
Once it is activated, you can exercise any of the powers listed in the document and hopefully that includes controlling her finances.