Instead of getting better, I'm getting worse. He became dangerously aggressive after 10 years of my caring for him. I gave it my all, but couldn't handle it anymore. I feel lost. He was/still is the love of my life. My family is gone. Now I can't even visit him because of the coronavirus. I stay busy, but also just stay on pins and needles. I have an embroidery business in my home and I've always loved doing it, but now I've lost interest and can't seem to get going again. What is wrong with me and when will it end?
I have said all this to say “Hang in there” and get help when and where you can. I think I am on the road to some recovery now, which didn’t start until I gave up trying to control/fix him, then allowed myself to have a separate life as a single. I don’t like it, but that is my new normal. It will become yours over time, too.
Good luck on your journey - may you find peace and rest for your body and soul.