Yes! I finally, after years of not doing the bare minimum for our mom (age 89), I told my sister off. 3 years ago I moved out of state, I was hopeful my sister and her grown children would at least call and visit, or at least bring groceries after COVID began. They lived less than 5 miles.
nope. The neglect was immediate. By mid 2020 I’d had Mom come stay with us. By summer she was comfortable enough she decided it was best to move permanently. I’ve done EVERYTHING for my mom. After a year (a year!) of absolutely begging sis + 3 kids to just call, even once a week, or two—to no avail, then being told I “guilt “ her, I LOST it
. I will only contact her going forward if hospitalization occurs, or when Mom passes. My stress levels are greatly reduced. I’m sad, but I know it was necessary.
I think that "Karma will get you" isn't especially polite, in all truth. Of course I think karma is utter nonsense, but to suggest that something "ugly and awful" is going to visit you or yours would not bring peace to me, personally. I think we have likely let it all out at one time or another. But the truth you learn after long life is that you cannot change others. They make their own choices for their own lives for their own reasons. You can honestly only come to peace with where YOU personally are. You don't enumerate any of the "awful" thing your Sister did to your parents. I hope that they are protected from her now if she was a danger to them, their health or their finances. I know you must get a great deal of satisfaction by being there for your parents. Don't waste time wishing "karma" on people. The shadenfreude concept is overrated; it will bring you little peace to see your sister suffer. I surely wish you the best. I hope your feeling of liberation brings acceptance that there is little you can do about the human flaws in another being. Just keep on taking joy in what you can provide of love in your own and your parent's lives.
i think it’s a good idea to tell siblings how one feels. direct. get it off your chest.
good!
and i bet it felt good, too!
keeping things in, can make us literally sick. being ignored can make us ill, too (bad siblings normally ignore their nice siblings). then one is doubly affected: mentally and physically.
strive for maximum health (mental peace, physical peace).
Yes. Said how I felt. Received back what she felt. A'ha! We saw things differently - & so acted differently! That actually, it was OK to see things differently.
I realise that is not always the case at all!!!
Sometimes it is quite impossible to see the other's point of view. Or you do see it, but disagree wholeheartedly.
Yes, last weekend I sent a voice msg to my brother who is overseas ( and that's his excuse for not caring for mom.) He did send money for her insurance after I begged & grovelled that mom's care is too much for me, Im sure our ties will break if/when my mom is no more but I'm beyond caring.
3 years ago I moved out of state, I was hopeful my sister and her grown children would at least call and visit, or at least bring groceries after COVID began. They lived less than 5 miles.
nope. The neglect was immediate. By mid 2020 I’d had Mom come stay with us. By summer she was comfortable enough she decided it was best to move permanently. I’ve done EVERYTHING for my mom. After a year (a year!) of absolutely begging sis + 3 kids to just call, even once a week, or two—to no avail, then being told I “guilt “ her, I LOST it
. I will only contact her going forward if hospitalization occurs, or when Mom passes. My stress levels are greatly reduced. I’m sad, but I know it was necessary.
I think we have likely let it all out at one time or another. But the truth you learn after long life is that you cannot change others. They make their own choices for their own lives for their own reasons. You can honestly only come to peace with where YOU personally are.
You don't enumerate any of the "awful" thing your Sister did to your parents. I hope that they are protected from her now if she was a danger to them, their health or their finances.
I know you must get a great deal of satisfaction by being there for your parents. Don't waste time wishing "karma" on people. The shadenfreude concept is overrated; it will bring you little peace to see your sister suffer.
I surely wish you the best. I hope your feeling of liberation brings acceptance that there is little you can do about the human flaws in another being. Just keep on taking joy in what you can provide of love in your own and your parent's lives.
“I think that "Karma will get you" isn't especially polite”
The message to my sister was a few paragraphs, very polite.
This last sentence is slightly different: “Karma will get you.”
Karma will get you, doesn’t mean I wish my sister to suffer. It means what it means.
“I hope that they are protected from her now if she was a danger to them, their health or their finances.”
Yes, I stopped it.
Danger to their health. Bordering on criminal.
I wish us all peace.
Peace doesn’t mean just standing by. A part of peace is also about telling people how you honestly feel.
We Will Succeed :)
i think it’s a good idea to tell siblings how one feels. direct. get it off your chest.
good!
and i bet it felt good, too!
keeping things in, can make us literally sick. being ignored can make us ill, too (bad siblings normally ignore their nice siblings). then one is doubly affected: mentally and physically.
strive for maximum health (mental peace, physical peace).
keep going forward with your life!!
bundle of joy :)
(my real name means peace)
“strive for maximum health (mental peace, physical peace).”
Yes! :)
I realise that is not always the case at all!!!
Sometimes it is quite impossible to see the other's point of view. Or you do see it, but disagree wholeheartedly.
Regarding my sister, believe it or not (but you better believe it), I received a personal letter from Santa!! (now in March!!)
Santa said, my sister’s in big trouble.
In some cases:
good riddance.