He is currently in an assisted living. His $ is going to run out by the end of the year. With all the Covid restrictions, we have not been able to see him except through the window. It is very difficult. He is 94. He has some $ left. I want him to come live with us. He could pay me since I lost my job and can take care of him. I need to know how he can pay me without getting penalized when he needs to apply to Medicaid
Thank you
1. Is he able to sign a contract in writing on what you will be paid (can he pay?) and what your exact jobs will be?
2. Are you ready to sacrifice ALL, and I mean ALL, of yourself for however long he lives? As in no vacations, no meals out, not being able to leave him alone ever, not even 10 minutes? Do you plan to visit with friends or have lunch with someone? You won't be able to. How will you handle errands you have to do? What about when you go to the grocery store? Will you have someone on hand to be at home while you are out? Someone you trust who has no problem showing up and your father will be okay with?
3. Are you okay with helping with his bathroom needs or bathing him? He may not need help with that now, but eventually he will. And he might fight you every step of the way.
4. You said he is difficult. He will be even more difficult in your home. If he has dementia or Alzheimers, he won't become a sweeter person. He will get meaner. If you're hoping he will be grateful and praise you for helping, or soften up in his old age, it's not likely to happen.
5. Can you handle being asked the same questions or hear the same noises day after day for months or years on end? This is a common issue in dementia and alz.
6. When will you do house activities like cleaning or laundry? You aren't going to have the time to do things on your schedule. Really any schedule... whatever routines you have now, will be erased. Your life will revolve around HIM.
7. It's very common for dementia/alz elders to "wander". My own grandfather had mild dementia and he would walk out of the house in the middle of the night. Didn't matter if it was 20 degrees outside; he thought he had to go to work. How will you handle it if this happens? Can you be awakened immediately by an alarm or something to let you know he has opened the door to leave?
8. How will you handle it when he is angry or combative? What plan do you have in place to calm him and keep yourself safe?
Money and such are the least of your worries now. Please reconsider.
If you still decide to bring him to your home, someone mentioned once that paying rent is better than a Caregiver agreement. Since you r getting paid, you must take out taxes and social security. It has to be on the up and up with Medicaid.
You really need to talk to a Medicaid expert in your state. For sure you will need a caregiver contract.
How old are you? Who else lives in your home? What level of care does Dad have? How easy would it be to move him back into a facility?