I did not want to see her in a nursing home, but I'm starting to think otherwise. I'm not getting paid for it and all she does is b*tch and complain about everything. She is still drinking, smoking and not trying to get better. It's like everyone owes her something, but we don't. No one comes to see her, not even her own kids come by. If it was up to them she would already be in a nursing home. She mentally is f*cking me up. I try to be nice to her and she just doesn't have any respect for me or my girlfriend (she helps also). She talks to and treats us like we are dogs. On top of all that my grandma lives next door. She isn't making anything better. There are a few issues that she has going on that I really don’t agree with. I would like to talk to someone about the issue because I think she and few other family members are breaking the law. I just don't know what to do or who to talk to about everything. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but back to my aunt, she is just downright hateful and I need help answering some questions. Thank you. I hope to hear back from someone.

Find Care & Housing
Why care if thus horrible woman is in a nursing home? If you aren't getting paid, you need to bail! You are being taken advantage of.

Let this nasty drinking and smoking Aunt find another slave. Don't waste the prime of your life in this situation. Let whoever sucked you into this situation know you will be gone by X date.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Dawn88

Time to walk away . You are Being abused and you can't Change the situation . Take care of yourself . She probably does need to be in a Nursing home .
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to KNance72

Run, run as fast as you can, just like the gingerbread man!

Sorry for being facetious. I wouldn’t care for her any longer since she doesn’t appreciate your kindness.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

I'm sorry for the circumstance you are in. In order for us to help you, some things need to be clarified.

Why are you taking care of her? Does she have a memory problem? Mobility problem? Cognitive problem? All of the above?

Is anyone her PoA? If she has a PoA this is the person you notify to inform them that you are no longer going to provide her care as of XX date. And then leave and do not insert yourself in the situation any further, no matter what (even if asked or begged or offered to be paid).

The behavior your describe sound like dementia but your profile says she is "-173" years old... is she 73 years old? That's pretty young for dementia but not ALZ.

Does she have an actual diagnosis of cognitive impairment? I ask because everything else is guessing and not very helpful.

You alluded to your other family members possibly "breaking the law" in whatever they are doing with your Grandmother. If you suspect this, report your Grandmother to APS as a vulnerable adult and provide the evidence for them to do an in-person check. Depending on your state and county you may be able to report her anonymously.

Does your Aunt have a history of mental illness? If so, this is a situation beyond what you can manage. I would also report her to APS and bow out. This will allow the county to have a judge assign a legal guardian for her. This will enable the guardian to get her the help she needs, without you being involved.

Any other details you provide will be helpful.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777

Johnny, sorry, but you are the third person to come here without punctuation (unless you are ONE person playing with the forum site) in weeks.

I don't answer any questions that are not punctuated because they are too difficult to read.
Whatever is going on with you, happy to consider and discuss when I can read it, and meanwhile I do wish you the best.

I CAN tell you are dealing with someone you consider "hateful". Hateful people are to be avoided. Period and end of sentence.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to AlvaDeer

No one here is in a good situation, your aunt or you. She needs a caregiver who’s trained to deal with her needs and you need to work and provide for your future. Please inform family members you’re bowing out of this and let others find a solution and the next steps for your aunt.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Daughterof1930

I think you should hand over your aunt to her children and let them place her in a nursing home.
You are at the end of your rope . Taking care of your aunt is not good for you mentally . A doctor or therapist would tell you to stop being her caregiver . There is no shame is stopping being a caregiver . It’s ruining your mental health . Take back your life.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to waytomisery

Time to tell her children that Mom is too much for you to handle. Tell them to do what they need to do. Its a shame that people like this never learn that you attrack more bees with honey than viniger.

I so hope you are not living there for free room and board. I hope one of you is working. If not get jobs and move out.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to JoAnn29

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter