I am caregiver for my 83 year old wife. Besides her physical inabilities, her memory is biggest impediment to normalcy. We sit and watch TV a lot, and her senseless dribble is pretty grating. I can hardly watch TV for her talking constantly...about nothing, mostly. Sometimes it is interspersed with intelligent observations, but mostly memories from her childhood. I manage to keep my composure by research on my laptop, as well as social interaction on FB. I could tell she resented my talking on Facebook and not listening to her. It has come to a point where we have angry disagreements and she gets mad and goes to bed. (She has a TV there). I know others have this problem and wonder how to handle it diplomatically. Maybe she will eventually get over it. Her dementia gets worse, then better. Not giving up my contact with intelligence!
I encourage you to hire a caregiver for a few hours a couple times a week or month, call your local counsel on aging and ask them for help, some offer help a couple times a month for free as a service provided by the county. Get out and socialize with your peers as much as you can.
You have to take care of you, you matter as much as your wife, whether she can see that in her broken brain or not. You must take care of your mental and emotional health lest you fall ill, then what happens to her?
Obviously you love her or you wouldn't be there or here, it is okay to get frustrated with this disease and the actions of your wife. Get some help going so you can be as healthy as possible to help her.
Have you talked with a certified elder law attorney to find out what you would need to do to place her in a facility if/when she requires a village? www.nelf.org is a great place to find a certified elder law attorney in your area that can guide you with the process and ensure that you have enough money to live on.
You are doing great!
I wish you well. I can just FEEL what it must be like to have someone so dependent on you.
Don't argue with her. Just agree and give her some attention. Remember, she is confused and they tend to latch on to the Caregiver. Your familiar. There will be times where she gets angry and paranoid and you will not figure out why. These times you may just want to let her storm out.
There will come a time when you can't do it anymore. That's when u may need to place her. If you haven't, I would look into protecting your half of assets.