AKA, step father's wife is the one with dementia. They are here now, both in AL.
Since I last saw her in person a few months ago, she has really slipped mentally. Here are my two questions:
She is 81, looks 90, has the crown balding thing going on, she has not aged well, continues to have her hair dyed jet black, hair is long, she ties it to the side and has this pony tail thing going on. You get the picture. Anyway, every person she sees, she asks them to guess how old she is. Then she will tell me and my brother, over and over again, that everyone is staring at her because they think she doesn't belong there/ AL, because she looks so young. Not. We have asked her to stop embarrassing the servers and so on, and TT her about the staring issue, she is new that is why they are looking at her, and, no one is really staring at her. Any thoughts?
Next. Is there any warning signs that a person with dementia is getting ready to start a new phase, such as roaming? We are now having trouble keeping AKA in the car, we will tell her to wait, and the next thing we know she is out. The other day, we took them to Pop's dialysis location to sign some forms, we went in to get the forms and bring them out to them, as he is in a wheelchair, and this was the easiest way to accomplish this, we told them to stay in the car, we go in and shortly thereafter, I see her sitting in the lobby. In a store, if we turn our back, she is off somewhere and we have to find her, she is reading a label although she doesn't know what she is reading. Any thoughts?
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Even those I am in my early 70's, I have my hair pulled back in a pony tail or a simple French twist to help cover that crown balding, and these two are the only hair styles that will work for me. I tried shorter hair, but it was exhausting dealing with hair rollers and sleeping on them, and sure enough the next day that crown balding would be showing again... [sigh].
The best way for your Step-Mom to wear a pony tail is for her hair to be very shiny. Some black hair dyes I have seen look more like charcoal with no shine. Have her try different types of conditioners, buy trial sizes. Make sure she has a good bathmat, as those conditioners can make the floor of the tub/shower slippery.
With dementia, there is no neon sign that says, “I’m entering a new phase of this disease.” I noticed there were less and less conversations with my mom that made sense. She did start wandering. She had lucid moments and sometimes even days. Those were rough because she realized where she was and what was happening to her. Somehow, you as her LO just realize what’s happening. It’s like being in a batting cage. You connect when you can, but sometimes you miss the ball. Like we always say, it’s a journey. Not an easy one, but a journey nonetheless.
As for wandering and other difficulties - you have to be aware she has no impulse control so it is natural that when something piques her interest she is apt to want to investigate it, straying farther and farther until she can't find her way back. Just as with a small child you have to keep one eye on her at all times if you continue to take her out.