You can't reason with dementia. Period. Full stop. The person you are caring for can not change their compulsion no matter how you try to explain it to them so what you have to do is change something else. Other than finding tissues crammed in every drawer, pocket and crevice what exactly is the problem? - more details will get more specific answers. If they are plugging the toilet disconnect the chain in the tank so they can't flush, it may be necessary to supervise them in the bathroom. Don't leave more tp/tissues out than is needed and hide the extras.
The only thing I've seen work was a complete change of scenery that keeps the habit from fitting into the current scenario.
My mom squirrelled Kleenexes under her pillow every night -- dozens of them -- and it drove my dad nuts. There were hundreds of them under their bed when we finally moved it away from the wall, too. My folks likely went through 3-4 boxes of Kleenex every week just from Mom plucking them from the box in the night and tucking them under her pillow and no amount of reasoning with her worked, nor did simply not having a box of them next to her bed ("I NEED KLEENEX IN THE NIGHT!!").
The only thing that worked was when she was moved to a nursing home. She barely ever touched a tissue in seven months. However, when we moved her there, we brought along her comfy chair that she'd snooze in during the day when she was at home and unwittingly set her up in a new habit. She refused to sleep in the bed in her new place because it was a twin-sized hospital bed instead of the king-sized bed she was accustomed to. She NEVER slept in that bed in seven months, but she slept in the chair because it was familiar. She developed terrible edema in her legs because she wouldn't give up the comfy chair even for a recliner ("I'm going to fall!"), so when we moved her to a memory care facility, the comfy chair didn't go along. Out of sight, out of mind, and she's slept in a twin-sized hospital bed ever since.
Unless this 'hoarding' is ruining your life or your wife's life in some way, leave her alone. Or buy less toilet paper and tissues so there's less around for her to hoard. Trying to change an OCD issue with a person who has dementia is literally impossible, so work WITH it instead of fighting against it. If she was scratching herself until she bled, THAT would be an issue. Unless she's plugging up the toilet with too much TP or tissues, then it doesn't sound like there's much of a problem. If there is a problem in the restroom, accompany her in there and keep the room locked otherwise. Or disconnect the chain in the tank like Cwillie suggested........or provide more details about what the problem is that you're facing with tp and tissues!
Is she insisting on buying more when the cupboards are full? Did this start a year ago when TP was in short supply?
My Dad is a hoarder. There is no reasoning with hoarders even those who do not have dementia, it is a mental illness.
If she is leaving a trail of used Kleenex, you could try giving her hankies. If she is using to much TP that it is damaging the plumbing, give her some each trip to the toilet.
No plumbing problem. It is expensive using a roll a day and a box a day but I get it that there is no attitudinal change to expect as logic has been flushed down the toilet too.
Thank you all for the advice, I appreciate it on this long journey of care to the one I love.
The person you are caring for can not change their compulsion no matter how you try to explain it to them so what you have to do is change something else. Other than finding tissues crammed in every drawer, pocket and crevice what exactly is the problem? - more details will get more specific answers. If they are plugging the toilet disconnect the chain in the tank so they can't flush, it may be necessary to supervise them in the bathroom. Don't leave more tp/tissues out than is needed and hide the extras.
My mom squirrelled Kleenexes under her pillow every night -- dozens of them -- and it drove my dad nuts. There were hundreds of them under their bed when we finally moved it away from the wall, too. My folks likely went through 3-4 boxes of Kleenex every week just from Mom plucking them from the box in the night and tucking them under her pillow and no amount of reasoning with her worked, nor did simply not having a box of them next to her bed ("I NEED KLEENEX IN THE NIGHT!!").
The only thing that worked was when she was moved to a nursing home. She barely ever touched a tissue in seven months. However, when we moved her there, we brought along her comfy chair that she'd snooze in during the day when she was at home and unwittingly set her up in a new habit. She refused to sleep in the bed in her new place because it was a twin-sized hospital bed instead of the king-sized bed she was accustomed to. She NEVER slept in that bed in seven months, but she slept in the chair because it was familiar. She developed terrible edema in her legs because she wouldn't give up the comfy chair even for a recliner ("I'm going to fall!"), so when we moved her to a memory care facility, the comfy chair didn't go along. Out of sight, out of mind, and she's slept in a twin-sized hospital bed ever since.
Trying to change an OCD issue with a person who has dementia is literally impossible, so work WITH it instead of fighting against it. If she was scratching herself until she bled, THAT would be an issue. Unless she's plugging up the toilet with too much TP or tissues, then it doesn't sound like there's much of a problem. If there is a problem in the restroom, accompany her in there and keep the room locked otherwise. Or disconnect the chain in the tank like Cwillie suggested........or provide more details about what the problem is that you're facing with tp and tissues!
Is she insisting on buying more when the cupboards are full? Did this start a year ago when TP was in short supply?
My Dad is a hoarder. There is no reasoning with hoarders even those who do not have dementia, it is a mental illness.
If she is leaving a trail of used Kleenex, you could try giving her hankies. If she is using to much TP that it is damaging the plumbing, give her some each trip to the toilet.
Thank you all for the advice, I appreciate it on this long journey of care to the one I love.
Thanks!