I am being punished and none of this is about our parent. My sibling did not tell me our 90-year-old parent was in the hospital for two weeks. I know parent lives and wants to see me. Parent is in nursing home. How can I establish that I know my parent wants to see me?
You asked a similar question earlier. If your Mom is competent and wants to see you, sisters POA does not override it. The POA responsibility is to carry out the principles wishes. The NH should allow your visit if Mom wants to see you. To override the POA otherwise, u may have to see a lawyer.
To be frank, I would BEG.
I would say that you are aware your parent is in the hospital. I would beg to be allowed to visit. I would promise that I would visit ONLY with the sibling there to monitor my visit should they fear I am up to some nefarious activity. I would not mention the past. I would say "for any love you may still bear me, for the love of Mom (Dad?) I am begging you to allow me to visit Mom (Dad?)."
To me I would grovel, I would beg, I would plead, I would promise. Whatever I was answered--for instance "You never cared enough to HELP" or whatever I would reply "Just tell me my deficits and I will promise to work on them ; I will do better; just please don't deny me a visit is all I ask of you".
That's me. I will do just about anything means to an end I need, and I would NEED to see my much loved parent were I afraid an end was near.
Your sibling is the lion at the gate. It's that simple.
If this is a hospital situation you may, after being refused a visit, ask to speak to a social worker and hope that he or she can intervene.
My best wishes to you and I hope you will update us if you find something that works in your goal to see your loved elder.
Are there any other relatives, friends, neighbors of your parent who go to visit? If so, would they be willing to take her a card from you, or play a video greeting for him/her on their phone?