I think I chose the wrong MC facility. Any suggestions on how to make the move easier?

If you need to move him, I think it would be easier now than after he is settled in. My 95 year old dad moved to MC last February and he is doing very well now. It took a while for him to adjust. It is a smaller facility - around 30 people - and he gets lots of one-on-one. They have come up with some creative ways to manage his dementia behaviors. I was there this weekend. He seems to be all the rage with the ladies but then I'm thinkin' the selection isn't the best at that age! I've never heard of hiring a 24 hour caregiver for someone in memory care. Isn't that what they are supposed to do? I wouldn't see that working where my dad is.

Change of facility may very well cause additional confusion, moves are very hard on those with dementia. Before another move I would try the companion for awhile. With the move a companion may be required as well.

It is not unusual for a facility to request a companion caregiver to be paid by the residents in the case of difficult behaviors. It was required of my mom. And yes, doubled her monthly care expenses. It was necessary as mom had become a danger to herself and others.

Check into care homes, lower resident population. My mom was eventually kicked out of memory card because of her behavior. A care home was suggested, 12 residents, worked much better for mom. Better caregiver/resident ratio, more individualized care. She still needed a companion at times.

Do what you need to do. It sounds like the place isn't a good fit for Dad or for you.

Not sure if there's a way to make it easier, so just tell Dad his new place is finally ready and move him.

I remember ur previous posts. I think you are making a good decision. As a MC I get the impression they have no idea how to care for Dementia patients. The staff does not seem aware of how to handle certain behaviours that come with Dementia. I may even suggest to the Director that the staff needs training in ALZ and Dementia. If there is a home office, I would write them a letter concerning this MC. Seems they want people who are easy and thats not what MC is.

Its not your Dad his behaviours are normal, its the facility.

I also moved mom. I thought there would be issues..not a one!! She had lived there 8 months. I pre-set up her new room to look just like the room she moved out of..I visited on my usual schedule. She barely noticed! She LOVES her new place.

You’ve found a nicer place … great !!!
definitely move him. Be very upfront and clear with them about what you’d expect for your dad.
wandering is such a common thing with dementia…. I can’t believe they would expect one on one … they should definitely be able to handle that !!! If you decide to get him extra care for few hours/day for companionship that’ll be your idea not a MC saying he’s wandering !!!!
ridiculous !!!!
just tell your dad you found a much nicer place with better care !!!
he’ll adjust !!! And be happier than with a bunch of grumpy caregivers!!!
good luck 🍀

Resident wander all the time in memory care. And if that's what they are putting him out for I would get him out of there asap... And talk with the new place about how the handle wandering residents.

Memory care is supposed to be able to handle these types of issues. They are probably under-staffed. If the new place has a better patient to caregiver ratio, go ahead with the move.

This is a symptom of the majority of memory care units not being properly educated on how to handle dementia behaviors. Wandering into other residents room is completely normal behavior. It requires caregivers to be educated on how to properly redirect the resident. Also, if a resident is new, they need more than 2 weeks to adjust to a completely different environment. Your father has not done anything wrong, the facility is wrong. Dementia/alzheimers is a disease in which the only people who can change their behaviors are those without the disease.

The first line of defense for behaviors like these are for the facilities to convince you to put your loved one on an antipsychotic. This will keep them tired and sleeping more so the facility does not need to understand how to care for them. It allows the facility to keep their low staff to resident ratio intact. AARP just successfully sued on this matter as are other states. It is a severe problem. I am glad you are moving him, they would either recommend drugging him or evict him. Anyone out there with a loved one who was put on an antipsychotic in a memory care or has been recommended to put them on an antipsychotic, please read this article.

https://health.usnews.com/health-news/best-nursing-homes/articles/antipsychotic-use-in-nursing-homes

Well, my mom was late stage 4 or early 5 when she moved into a dementia focused AL. I’d say it took her 3-4 months to get settled in. I’m not happy with where she is but think it might be due to staffing shortages, so am waiting to see if the new hires improve the activities.
Do the move for your peace of mind. it’ll be ok.

Once dementia sets in, they will have trouble finding their rooms no matter where they are. I have seen that to be true. As far as the move, just do it - it won't change his mind and state of confusion.

Ridiculous. Why have memory car if u can afford a private sitter?

i ran into a similar situation years ago. It was a Brookdale facility. It was basically an AL with locked doors.

Perhaps he can go on an outing with a family member and others could move his belongings and set his room up the same as in the old place? This way it would be a bit familiar to him when he arrives. As I’ve never been in a memory care, that might not be possible but a few familiar items might make a difference. I’m sorry he is having to do this.

Just make the move as quickly as you can and without a lot of fuss. Don't try to prepare him ahead of time. Just tell him the morning of the move that he'll be moving to another facility where he'll get better care. Maybe just pack up a small bag with a few changes of clothes to take with him and his grooming supplies, and come back later or get someone else to do the big packing and moving. If you can arrange for someone to move his belongings while you have him out on a day trip, that might be even better. With my mother, she felt anxious after two fairly quick moves, and kept asking if the last one was her apartment and if she'd have to move again. I tried to reassure her that she wouldn't have to move again.

WearyJean: Imho, move him to the nicer place.

WearyJean: Additionally, why hire a 24/7 caregiver if the patient is in an MC facility? That's rich.

Just wanted to give you an update: I moved my husband to the nicer facility and he is doing great. It's a wonderful place and no one calls me to complain. They are extremely supportive and helpful. What a difference!

That is SUCH good news!!