My mother recently broke her kneecap in a fall. After being in a rehab facility for 2 1/2 months she is making good progress. I would like for her to go to assisted living where she lives or come to live at my house 200 miles away. She refused both and went home.
I tried to convince her I need to know she is safe. She states she wants to stay home where she can have her 3 cats.
There are 4 of us siblings and her 70 year old cousin is her power of attorney. One 67 year old sibling is financially cared for by Mom and has lived in Mom's basement for years. She continually tells Mom that we are trying to take away her independence.
Mom was diagnosed paranoid delusional 40 years ago and refused medication or treatment.
How do we get her to agree to a safe environment when she won't let an outsider in her house, or leave the cats and house behind?
You cannot make people do what you want.
A therapist may be the best thing I can do for now.
One of her OT’s said something that struck me: sometimes you can’t get people to leave their homes and you have to let go of that. The elderly fall, it’s not an if it’s a when. If they won’t leave, make the modifications you can to the house to increase safety. Make sure they understand the risk, but it’s their right to live with the risk. If they deny there is risk seek help of a professional, such as a social worker or doctor to help.
It was a wake up call for me. It’s important to tell them how you feel and the risk you see gently but understand you can’t control what they do. They are usually in fear and knowing that your concerns come from love will help. I saw a therapist during this time too and that helped.
Good luck, I hope it works out
Anyways, what I’m getting at is that theres’ no silver bullet here. Maybe meds, but the meds would probably be out to get her, so can’t take those.
Sometimes, you have to step back and let things run their course, however painful that might be..