I went on the cruise.

Update.,,, I had offers from members of my husbands, family to take mother to her appointment. The problem is that my husband had briefly been through mothers house before he knew he was sick with Covid to take her trash out. Mother started telling me she did not feel well and had headaches. So I dropped off a test at her house. She said it was negative, but that’s assuming she did the test correctly, etc. I did not want to chance them exposing themselves to anything, especially since they take care of my husband‘s 99-year-old grandma. I was still not sure what to do. Based on the number of days since I came down with symptoms, I “could “have come out of isolation today. Except that yesterday my fever from Covid came back. So I canceled the whole darn appointment, and she’s just had to change her tune about griping about not having lower teeth and live with it.

Oedgar.. here’s a couple of suggestions.
lets call mom’s friend, Jane.
Dear Jane,
Next time you need to leave a pet with a person who is not physically capable of babysitting it, like my mother, I will take it to the closest vet clinic, and board her there. Most clinics have dog boarding capabilities. On top of this, all the crap Fluffy left, needs to be professionally removed and house cleaned. Let’s talk to see how you want to pay for the house cleaning…
next time, oedgar, maybe ask doctor if you csn put mom in respite care for the duration of your vacation. Will her insurance pay for it! She may get better help.
Jane needs to know, should this ever happen at all with Jane being asked to care for anyone, she needs to ask if it’s ok to dump the dog at the persons house.

she can also look online:
www.rover.com
find dig sitters, walkers, etc.

Oedgar,

This whole situation sounds so stressful. I hope that you and hubby start to feel better soon.

Whatever you do, so not clean up after that dog. Call the dog owner to do that and ask her why she left her dog with the same person you asked her to keep an eye on. I don't know what people were thinking.

I am super jealous that you got to go on a cruise. I miss going but my husband is afraid of covid .

I am bewildered and angry that you would even consider exposing people in a dental office to Covid! That's a horrible thing to do. For some people it's la-di-dah, Covid is no big deal, but it is to my husband and me.

DH has dementia and coronary artery blockage that is being treated with meds. Surgery is not possible. Covid for him could mean a step down in cognitive ability, and he's barely able to do ADLs now.

There is plenty of research by reputable entities on after-Covid loss of cognition. I know people that it's happened to, and it's so sad. Here are some links:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/severe-covid-infection-may-lead-to-noticeable-cognitive-loss
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanwpc/article/PIIS2666-6065(23)00154-2/fulltext#:~:text=Post-COVID cognitive dysfunction (PCCD,be explained by an alternative
https://time.com/6294762/how-covid-19-affects-brain-memory/

Those with coronary artery disease who get Covid have an increased risk of hospitalization and death. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/sars-cov-2-infects-coronary-arteries-increases-plaque-inflammation

DH and I have mostly isolated for 3.5 years. We are active, exercise, and do all we can to maintain our otherwise pretty good health. We've taken all possible precautions. We follow doctors' orders and haven't caught Covid. But some things we must do - such as tend to dental and medical care. For that we must go to a doctor's office, and then we get there and are sitting next to someone who got Covid but goes to an appointment anyway!?

And even if it's not someone with CAD sitting next to you, it could be me, my husband's only caregiver, who gets Covid from you and carries it home to DH. If I'm not well - I must avoid respiratory infections because of a tendency toward severe bronchitis that has almost put me in the hospital a few times - who will take care of my husband? There isn't anyone to help us. No family near.

Today I actually was in the dentist's office, and a woman sitting across from me coughed and sneezed several times. No mask, and she didn't cover her mouth in any way, just sneezed her nose, mouth and lung exudate into the air between us for me to breathe. I looked at her, and she said, "I'm not sick. It's allergies." Okay, but couldn't she have covered her face holes in a dentist's waiting room? I learned proper cough and sneeze protocol in elementary school. Didn't she?

Please take care around others. If my DH died because of your spreading of Covid, you wouldn't know it. Doesn't that - shouldn't that - concern you?

The friend pays for Stanley steemer. It was her dog. I would make sure to ask why she thought leaving the dog with your mother was such a good idea. If you had known she was planning on leaving town while u were away, you would have had someone else check in on Mom.

Call Stanley steamers they have coupons and Have the rugs cleaned and hand the Owner the Bill or have the Owner Pay Stanley steamers directly .

It's kind of amazing what we grow used to as being 'ok' as far as care/living situations for our elderly LO's.

You think having dog poop all over the house for a while longer is ok and you'll get around to it? Just think for a second how off that thinking is. Yet, you're used to it, so you don't think like the rest of us who are going "OMGosh, this is disgusting, and unhealthy and revolting". You're blind to a serious problem.

Not trying to be judgy--but, really? You can hire someone to come clean that dog poop up TODAY. Why is it OK in your mind that it just sits there?

My DH offered to 'babysit' a puppy that was getting over Parvo. I was 100% opposed b/c I knew the dog would still have diarrhea--and DH said he'd handle it. Yep, he handled it by putting a paper towel on top of each and every 'accident'. My basement looked like a freaking scout camp with little 'tents' all over.

Dh thought it was perfectly FINE.

I shall draw a curtain over the ensuing disagreement, but the poop got cleaned up and he had to have that dog in his sight or in the kennel until the owner came and got it.

Point being: he didn't think that 15 piles of sick dog poop were a problem. He was truly blind to the whole thing.

He's now doing basically the same thing with his mother. All her weird behaviors are so common to him (and his sibs) that they simply don't SEE that a lot of the stuff she is doing is extremely dangerous and stupid--to them, it's just mom being mom. I am beyond baffled by them and their blindness to the fact she belongs in a NH. And has for months.

My MIL's kids also believe their mother to be 'mostly independent'. She is not, by any standard. Neither is your mom, I'm sorry to say.

Although your mother has been fully informed of the risks in you with covid taking her to her dental appointment, what about the others in the dental office? This is how covid spreads -- people just don't care who is exposed. I certainly hope you will be wearing a GOOD mask (N95/KN94 and not just a saggy blue paper mask) when you go out.

I'm glad you had a great time on your cruise, but was it worth getting covid for? And then coming home to a mess at your mother's, too?

Hire carpet cleaners with Moms money and also cleaning people to come in regularly . Why should you be her maid ?

I think it's time to call APS again.

I suppose I still consider her independent, just needs assistance. She can bathe, dress, cook, “mostly” manage money. Her finances are better with my oversight now. She drives just around her small town. Her appt is where I live, a 10 mile highway drive away.
What she can’t/won’t do is clean.

How nice of your mother to leave the dog shit for you to clean up whenever you recover from COVID and go to her house. Mom should be made to hire a cleaning service to have that taken care of and not be living in a feces stained home because you can't clean it up for her. Obviously she is not capable of living on her own if she can allow herself to live in such squalor. I don't know why you are propping your mothers charade of independence up like this.

OEdgar, welcome back.

I'm sorry mom's friend let you down. It doesn't sound like mom should be staying alone, even with check-ins.

If mom schedules an appointment you can't take her to, don't argue. Say "no, I can't do that".

Don't wear yourself out arguing with someone who doesn't seem to have the capability to reason.