After being in rehab for a while, my mom is being discharged next week & her AL won’t take her back because she has a level 3 wound & still is a 2-person assist on her weaker days.
We are going to need to move into long-term care. My question is if the facility doesn’t actually control the resident’s finances, why do I need to provide account numbers? We are paying & will be using the assets from the trust I established for her care, but I want to be the one who manages it & decides how to pay for what… any insight?
She definitely isn't making enough progress to satisfy them, I get that. She is very weak, and her bone-on-bone arthritis causes her to be in extreme pain... unfortunately, the long-term care was inevitable. But I thought we'd get more time than her being 66!
The elder care attorney I spoke did confirm I can black out all account numbers for this application; I will be the one paying but they still have the right to ask to see an overall picture of her assets.
You don't have to provide this. Just say no.
Had to go to a NH for rehab, but it was clear that that this was her last stop.
I, too, was heartbroken. The stats say "you enter a NH, you're dead in 6 months".
Except...my mom lived for 4 1/2 happy years there. Got to see 2 more great grandchildren born. Enjoyed the Thanksgivings, Christmases, Mothers Day and birthday parties we brought to her there.
Yes, it was sad to see her grow more frail. But she was well-cared for, loved by all her nurses and aides and died a fairly peaceful death after an I ther fall.
Take heart. (((Hugs)))).
compassionate, the staff has all been there for many years.
The idea of my very young mom giving up the only independence she had left (her own apartment, her own furniture, bed, etc) is hard. She’s 66, but her body is more like 86 or 96.
I want to her to be as comfortable as possible for whatever remaining time she has left.
She’s been in rehab for almost 100 days between the first stint in December where she got COVID & Medicare kicked her out… she was home for 2 days & back in the ER… then 2 weeks in cardiac ICU. And then back to a better rehab. So we’re at that limit, but she’s not better. AL won’t allow her to come home, so it looks like long-term skilled nursing is her only option. It breaks my heart.
You do know that the 100 Medicare days start up again in January 2023.
So your mother might be covered in the LTC for a while. Even if she is going into LTC permanently and not returning to her AL, do not allow them to take charge of her finances.
If you are the financial POA then you can insist that whatever care facility your mother is in must send you a written bill each month. If you are paying cash-pay privately, pay by a bank or cashier's check every month. Don't even allow them access to the routing numbers on a personal check.
This happened to me when I was a POA and I learned. Absolutely refuse to give them any of your mother's financial information. You insist on a written bill every month thatyou pay every month.
What care facilities always do is collect from everyone. If it's medically necessary for your mother to be in a care facility Medicare and her secondary insurance will pay for up to 100 days. The nursing home or LTC whatever will collect from insurance and will also pull out the monthly cash-pay cost from a bank account (if you let them have the info which I truly hope you don't). Or they will send you the bill even though it's already been paid.
You have to stay in regular communucation with Medicare to make sure both of you aren't paying for the same services.