I love this site! You guys have helped me so much when it comes to dealing with my 77 year old father. Well.... this dilemma is the mother load!
My dad is 77 and has lived alone for probably 40 years. He is NOT good with change. He’s still living in the first house he ever bought! Hes never used a computer, cell phone, and of recent, a washing machine. He barely drives and its virtually impossible to get him to a doctor, BUT 4 years ago he had emergency surgery (spinal stenosis). He hasn’t been the same since - mentally or physically. He’s forgetful, but also very lucid and sensible much of the time. He drinks beer (a lot of it) every day - all day. That’s an entirely separate issue and we’re trying to deal with that. He barely drives (but still has a car) so I’ve been driving to visit him 2 or 3 times a week for the past year. He lives an hour away.... 12 days ago he was admitted into the hospital. His walking had gotten worse and worse and there were a few falls. BUT everything seemed to check out ok, (although there is some minor dementia and balance issues that neurologists feel has been caused by years of alcohol abuse.) He was discharged to a rehab 7 days ago and hasn’t really accepted it. The place is gorgeous, but you’d think he was in a prison. I keep telling him it’s only temporary and the goal of a rehab facility is to help people get better so they can go back to their lives. The problem is that his old life is horrible, and besides that, I don’t think he can live alone in his house anymore and I doubt the rehab would ever discharge him back to living alone anyway. I’ve been trying to get him to move into some form of independent living for the past few years. He’s always said no. He says he loves his life, but he can’t possibaly love it! He’s alone with only 1 friend who he only sees maybe once a week and only if the friend comes to see him. He really has nothing going on. Going home to his house would mean a very dangerous situation for him and a TON of stress for me! How do I get him to take the plunge and just move? He has the funds to do it and I know eventually (and I stress the word EVENTUALLY) he would like it. He hasn’t always been a recluse but he sort of has become one. Help!
