I'm a PCA, not a maid. Please help me outline boundaries with the family.

Do you work for an agency?
If so, you, or better, the agency, can send
a list of your duties to the family, or you can
keep a list on hand at the home.
When family expects you to do their laundry
and things, you can say, I'm sorry but the
agency/medicare/insurance company who ever
pays you, doesn't allow me to do 'caretaking' for others.
Only the patients I am assigned to.

If you get a list of duties from your agency, ask
them to add a line to indicate the duties are to
the patients only and do not extend beyond that.

If you are private pay, that is different, and you would
need to ask the people you care for (presuming they
are paying for you) to indicate to family that you are paid
to care for the couple, not for the family.
Unless the family wants to offer you a generous bonus
to do their meals and laundry while they vacay for
free at the parent's home.
If a different relative is paying you, let them be the
one to outline you work for the couple, not for the
family and either tell the family themselves, or give
you a list of duties/not duties to show to the visitors
that think they are in a hotel.

Or look the son in the eye, and say
I'm sorry, I should have let you know sooner,
I am here for ...list, or names or whatever....
and I'm really not comfortable with the
unexpected extra work, unexpected extra duties,
I am not expected to do that, I am not paid to do that

Realistically you signed up to take care of two
people, not 5, 6 or 7 even for just a week

Unless someone wants to come forward with a
nice cash bonus for your extra efforts.... agreed to
in advance

I would speak to the one without dementia and tell her/him how you feel and what your boundaries are. Then this person should approach the family members and explain the boundaries to them. They may not know any better or they may just be taking advantage of you. If this does not work, I would sit down with the family when they first arrive and very professionally explain that you were hired to do what you do and this does not include being a maid. State the boundaries the minute they arrive. Hope this works

The worst thing about this visit is that it is during a pandemic. Visiting elders and staying in their home is really not a good idea.

Explain this to your employer. Your employer should discuss the issue with family, not you. Give their son's ph# to your employer. The company should clearly define the duties of a PCA. Also, I am concerned with seniors being the highest risk of death due to covid. Why are the son, wife, kids visiting?? Are they covid-deniers? Those types exist and are exasperating and dangerous to the elderly! I only do window/phone visits as directed by my loved one's doctor and social worker.

Thank you all, for your very helpful answers. I told them that I would be using this time to do some important work on my house. Yes I was very surprised they travelled up now to visit during covid. But I will not be there and they all tested negative.

Just gently make it clear that these tasks aren't in your job description, and you are so sorry not to be able to assist them. I would let your employer know ahead of time that they already took advantage of them before, and that this time you will politely let them know that you are not hired for these tasks. Then the employer will be forewarned when they call all crazy and nutsy. In their defense they may not know. But they will know when you explain it. Just stay very polite no matter where they go with it.

God bless you, Gentlecare. I've no advice, only my experience; I was living with my mom for a few years and finally arranged for a 4 hour daily break through an agency. Our assigned caretaker was lovely and understanding, but of an age that could have been an older great grandchild. Mom, born in east U.S. in 1929, literally had no understanding what was going on when you appeared, and on your first day she asked you to dust her (bleeping) miniature doll house (yep, go there ...). I happened to be there; you looked at me; it was extremely awkward for me to address. I was extremely embarrassed for all of us. We ended up gutting it out, me telling 'Mrs. K." that that's not why you're here. It was really untidy, but somehow, Mrs. K. accepted that. Again, God bless you; you are an angel.

You handled that very well. Gives you a sort of vacation and shows family just how much help the parents need.

Reference the contract or care plan that they signed with your employer. It should outline what your responsibilities are. I'm an RN and I have worked with agencies whose PCAs are tasked with light housework in addition to patient care responsibilities. So whatever your employer's paperwork states for start of care should be enforced. Familiarize yourself with it and speak to your employer about supporting you if the family is asking you to perform tasks outside the plan of care.

Do you work for an agency or for yourself? If you're with an agency then it's your supervisor's job to inform the family about what your job duties are and what they are not. You have not been hired as a maid. When I worked for agencies (I don't anymore) we were instructed that things like laundry, washing dishes, and making beds were only done for the client we were contracted to work for. Not the rest of the family. If you're employed privately, then you need to make yourself very clear exactly what your job is and what it's not. If the visiting family wants service for themselves then they can pay for it. Write down a dollar amount that you think is fair and give it to them. Either they will take you up on it or they won't. They won't dismiss you though. Since they're only visiting, they don't want to be saddled with the responsibility of finding new help. If you're with an agency, there's nothing at all wrong with striking up a side-deal for additional pay for giving them service that your agency doesn't need to know about. Unless you get paid privately, chances are your pay is crap. As for the visiting family staying home and doing something fun with the elderly parents. If it's at a point where they need PCA's and CNA's then really there isn't much fun to be had. They should at least try to spend some time with them, but if there's kids visiting it's no kind of holiday for them.

Gentlecare,

How did you time off go?

This question has given me insight into how PCAs feel about being asked to do more than is in the job description -
In hindsight I may have overstepped with my mom's PCA, she worked for us for 5 years - I did ask favours - take her out for lunch, shopping, walks---but in return we gave extra pay, always gave gas money, gifts certificates for her family for restaurants, and thought she didn't mind the occasional extra beyond call of duty favour -- now I wonder if she felt taken advantage of - sometimes family doesn't ask favours to take advantage it's just that a person we trust and our loved one cares about is able to help in a way outside of the usual job description

Maybe ask the family what the expectations are while they are there.  Do you usually fix meals for the couple?  Ask the family do they want you to continue to fix the meal for the couple or will the family be including Mom & Dad in their meal plans.  Let them know your schedule with the couple.  I usually do their laundry on Monday & Thursday that will leave the washer available for you to use on Tuesday & Wednesday.  Will you be taking Mom & Dad on any outings while you are here?  I can rearrange my schedule or plan some time off so I'm not in the way, just let me know.