He is 88 with vascular dementia for 2-3 years. All is peaceful if unpredictable while we are alone. Now I have arranged to sell a property out of state and his adult children and a private duty care giver will be here. What should I expect of my “re-entry” into his life? I’m expecting confusion and maybe some resentment.
Have the daily pill box filled up..but write down on piece of paper what to take & when in case it by accident falls out of the little square! Have enough supplies on hand & food in house. Also write down emergency phone numbers of Drs ..&/or pharmacy. & of course where you will be & phone number. Good luck & have “fun”
I was in the same position, I was going to go on a vacation, had not had one in about 8 years. My Husband had been going to Adult Day Care at a local Memory Care facility. (He had been kicked out of the regular one and I talked my way into the facility accepting him) I was going to go for 2 1/2 weeks. I was so worried that :
*He would be so "institutionalized" by the time I got home that I would not be able to bring him home.
*He would not remember me.
*He would die while I was gone.
and the list goes on....
When I got back it was like I had dropped him off that morning. As soon as he got into the house he sat down in his recliner.
If his adult children and the caregiver that you have staying with him have not been alone with him for a given length of time, several hours, I would suggest that you have them do that before you leave so he is used to them being there and not you. Let them help even if you are there so that he gets used to following direction from someone else.
He may surprise you, there may be no confusion. OR he may decline more because you are not there.
You have to do this, so do not spend a lot of time worrying about the "what if's" the worry is not going to change what will or will not happen. It just stresses you out.