I’m finding it hard to not feel guilty when I think I need a reality check. How can I reset my mind and give myself a chance to breathe?

Guilt is self conflicted. A person cannot make you fill guilty unless u let them. Take this from a person who always was the one who felt guilty and now, I don't allow myself.

Yes, I lacked patience with my Mom. No not her fault, TG she had short memory loss. When I start to feel guilty, I push it back because out of 3 surviving kids, I was the only one able to do the caregiving. So, I forgave myself for my lack of patience which I got from my Mom.

If you are doing everything possible for your husband, than what do you feel guilty about? Its time to set boundries. Tell him you will not tolerate the abuse. If he continues to do it, walk away. Don't do for him what he is capable of doing. Ask his doctor if consulting with a pain specialist would help. It might be he just needs the right mix of pain meds. But he can't be abusive if there is no one there to abuse. Get out, even if its just to go sit in a park. Window shop, browse a store. Have lunch with the girls. Go to Church. To the library. Don't isolate yourself.

I just read your profile. Why are you feeling guilty?

What are you guilty of? You mention that hubby is abusive towards you. Please explain how that makes you wrong in any way?

If anyone is to feel guilt, it’s hubby, not you.

Guilt is a genuine emotion. It is felt by those who have done something wrong and they feel shame or remorse.

Guilt serves a purpose if it motivates someone who has done something wrong to make amends.

That is not what your profile describes. Your profile points the finger at your husband so let go of your ‘misguided’ guilt. There is no reason for you to feel any type of guilt whatsoever!

You may need to seek professional help if you have no support system to guide you in a realistic manner with whatever you are dealing with.
As to guilt, I hate the word. It belongs to felons who do malice aforethought and take great pleasure in the pain of others. I doubt that's you. I think it's another word you need here. That word is grief. You are grieving that you have human limitations, that not everything can be fixed, that there is no good solution, no easy solution and no certain solution to many things in life.
While you don't tell us anything about what you are facing down it does seem you just bumped up against your own human limitations. Rest easy, as we ALL have them.

I'm not sure I'm understanding what you are asking, after reading your profile. You say that you are caring for your husband who lives in pain, and is now verbally abusing you, causing you to lose your confidence and become more introverted. What are you feeling guilty about, and why are you needing a reality check? Your husband should be the one feeling guilty, as he is the one doing something wrong, by verbally abusing you. No one should tolerate that ever. I don't care that he lives in constant pain, (that's no excuse.) So do I, but I would have never dreamed of verbally abusing my husband when he was alive. Men that abuse their woman either physically, or mentally(which is what verbal abuse is)thrive on breaking their woman's confidence, so they can keep them right where they have them, in hopes that they've been beaten down so low, that they won't leave. Please don't continue to tolerate that. Leave if you have to. And get yourself some therapy, so you can gain your confidence back and your self worth. You will be able to 'breathe" a whole lot better then.