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Yes, I lacked patience with my Mom. No not her fault, TG she had short memory loss. When I start to feel guilty, I push it back because out of 3 surviving kids, I was the only one able to do the caregiving. So, I forgave myself for my lack of patience which I got from my Mom.
If you are doing everything possible for your husband, than what do you feel guilty about? Its time to set boundries. Tell him you will not tolerate the abuse. If he continues to do it, walk away. Don't do for him what he is capable of doing. Ask his doctor if consulting with a pain specialist would help. It might be he just needs the right mix of pain meds. But he can't be abusive if there is no one there to abuse. Get out, even if its just to go sit in a park. Window shop, browse a store. Have lunch with the girls. Go to Church. To the library. Don't isolate yourself.
What are you guilty of? You mention that hubby is abusive towards you. Please explain how that makes you wrong in any way?
If anyone is to feel guilt, it’s hubby, not you.
Guilt is a genuine emotion. It is felt by those who have done something wrong and they feel shame or remorse.
Guilt serves a purpose if it motivates someone who has done something wrong to make amends.
That is not what your profile describes. Your profile points the finger at your husband so let go of your ‘misguided’ guilt. There is no reason for you to feel any type of guilt whatsoever!
As to guilt, I hate the word. It belongs to felons who do malice aforethought and take great pleasure in the pain of others. I doubt that's you. I think it's another word you need here. That word is grief. You are grieving that you have human limitations, that not everything can be fixed, that there is no good solution, no easy solution and no certain solution to many things in life.
While you don't tell us anything about what you are facing down it does seem you just bumped up against your own human limitations. Rest easy, as we ALL have them.