I'm my mom's full time caregiver. I'm also a medical professional and her POA. She lives with me full time. She used to live with one of my other sisters but once she couldn't live alone and had more medical needs, she moved with me. Mom has another account near us that's more convenient.
There could be a long term problem lurking so protect yourself…
Ensure that every transaction (by your mom or you (if you help with any errands or financial transactions)) in all other accounts and for all purchases is well documented with supporting receipts. Keep pristine files with complete records. It is much easier to maintain these records than to recreate them later (Make sure that you are printing out, storing and not shredding your records in your own seemingly irrelevant personal accounts as well). . .
This may sound excessive, but do this for your protection.
A lengthy explanation is provided for those who care to read on…
A small move like closing the account (even if you must do it to protect your sister from her own bad choices) could set her off and she could try to retaliate against you in the future.
I was sued by several siblings (one had been my closest friend) and it all started after my elderly sharp Mom chose not to give that sibling an inappropriate large financial gift. (My mother is the person who felt it was inappropriate). My sibling believed I had blocked this gift despite the fact that this was mom’s choice alone. She decided to “get me back…”
As a result of two ensuing legal cases after mom’s passing years later, both in which I was named as a defendant, as estate executor and defendant, I had to account for and recreate a decade of my parent’s gifts and spending and had to also provide six plus years of tedious records documenting my own personal and completely irrelevant spending. Since I routinely destroyed my own records as a matter of protecting identity theft and they had been “archived” by my creditors, I literally had to pay credit card companies tens of thousands of dollars just to get copies of past bills that had once been free to access. (Yes, these could have been obtained directly from the credit card companies by court subpoena, good question, but that would have even cost more in legal fees)! Collecting these records, which I had once “prudently” shredded, also took months as some of the credit card companies had outsourced their electronic storage.
Keep in mind that my mom was mentally competent at the time of her decision to refuse the “gift/loan.” I suspect many of you may be running errands and buying groceries for people who aren’t.
I won both lawsuits completely and did so pre-trial, but I wish I could have just saved some stress and money I wasted by keeping better files in the first place. I would caution everyone who runs errands for an elderly person (both for reimbursement or using that person’s credit card) or who has POA to do the same. (If you shop as a loyalty customer at a drug or grocery store, they can regenerate all your transactions at a future time using your phone number in such a circumstance. So don’t forget to type in that phone number! Unlike the credit card companies, the drug and grocery stores regenerated records for me free of charge!
And, keep in mind…
if you’re acting as a caregiver, you might not be appreciated by all your family, it might make some others- who may have always been jealous in the first place- even resent you more.
Feel free to send me a personal message anytime if you find yourself in such a situation.
I am so very sorry that you had to suffer through all of this needless stress and torment. I am glad that you did 'win' in pretrial, but so regret all that you went through. And, I'm sure that all sibling relationships were destroyed in the process.
Hold your head high and move forward with strength.
Your mother can close the account she no longer uses and transfer her money to the one that's more convenient. Does she want to do that? Or with her consent you can use your POA to do it for her if she prefers.
I handle all her finances, medical affairs. Many facilities do not recognize a POA.
since I have a letter from doctors, I can act on how it’s designated on her Trust.
we have three accounts in the bank. One that takes in her SS, her Trust account, and one for her miscellaneous items. My name is only on her Trust, but I can move money around as POA . Please keep great, accurate records of any transactions. Keep your money separate from mom’s. This is very important.
As a curtesy to my brother, I will send him a copy of mom’s quarterly statements. Then there are no questions on where her money is going.
This is working out well so far.
To remove my brother required a death certificate. This is because he was on the account as a joint owner. I.. don't know if you or mom can just remove sister if the account is joint (the kind of thing done to keep money from going into probate court or whatever? I don't know the details yet not looking forward to learning. It was something my mom had set up before her funeral was pre-paid etc and was an emergency continency.) I think sister would have to agree to be removed? On my mom's acct it is not joint, I am a "responsible person", as the only reason I need access to the account is to do the in person banking for her as her getting there in person is very very hard now.
Everyone on a joint account is an owner, so Mom or you could have withdrawn all the money, closed that account, and opened another one right on the spot, OR just left it alone.
I was on my folks' checking account, and when my dad died four years ago, we didn't do anything to take him off. Mom died last year, and I'm the only one left. The account belongs solely to me even though their names are still on it.
You are NOT in the least versed in the legalities and requirements of a DPOA and should not be giving such lengthy and false 'advice.' Your information if horribly incorrect and beyond misleading.
Please research the actual legal fiduciary duties of a DPOA before responding to posts such as this.
You are woefully uninformed.