My sister-in-law has only been here five times. She's taken her twice and when she brings her back she is unhappy, worried and freaking out that she doesn't have any money because that's what my sister-in-law is telling her. She does have money, but my sister-in-law is not helping us at all with her. What can I do? I'm at a loss.
This should definitely be reported to APS.
Her, MILs, money is for her care, not SILs lifestyle.
Also, like the others have said, have your husband speak to his sister about all of your concerns. If you feel burned out caring for your MIL and want more help, talk to him about that too, and about placing her in Assisted Living if that's what you'd like to see happen.
I may consult with an elder lawyer. Maybe he can help you become payee for MILs SS. SS does not recognize POAs.
She wouldn't be the 1st one that used money she wasn't entitled too, all why letting others pay the bills.
You can report her and do an ER drop, leaving the POA info as contact info. You can tell them that the POA isn't paying for her and you can't continue to do it. They are mandated reporters and would contact APS.
Your husband needs to man up to his sister and tell her to step up or go down for financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior and violation of fiduciary responsibilities. No more doormat! Stand up and deal with this hubby!