I’m wondering things people ascribe to others, like daughter about mother. The daughter sounds like she’s talking about herself.

Hi Molly - I'm trying to decipher your message - it's a bit unclear. It sounds like you're saying that those daughters on this site who have found fault with their mothers are, in essence, just projecting their own flaws onto their mother?? And that it's actually the daughters that have a "vested interest" in not getting along with their mother, but they're unaware of it??

That's the best that I can try to understand your comments - if in fact, that's what you meant. Care to clarify what you actually meant to express?

I really hope that I'm NOT correct in what you were trying to say!!

Not sure what point you're trying to make but I agree that we tend to project our wants and desires and expectations on our LO. This is why so many adult children fret and stress over what their parent's care is like. In the US we are raised romanticizing what the American Golden Years should look like. Most of it is not reality.

Not every daughter "needs" to find fault with their Mother, but in close relationships I think it just seems that way when we're older and have more perspective and experience. The better you know someone, the more acquainted with their flaws you become.

Sometimes people seem to have a vested interest in not getting along, and sometimes it is subconscious, and a result of dysfunctionality, mental illness, history of abuse, etc.

Therapy is only as good as the therapist plus the willingness of the client to take long, hard looks into themselves, their motivations, choices and goals. I think a wise therapist is an incredibly valuable resource.

This seeems to be your first post. You need to be more specific and please write in first person. Meaning is the daughter you and mother your Mom.

🙂. Okay, yes

I am sorry, Molly, along with Lea I don't understand what you are trying to ask us.

What?