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I had the thought process that if I got her involved with a situation she would participate, like my kids separation anxiety. Kicking and screaming till I was gone. Not happening in my case. MIL gets physically stressed out if I leave her anywhere (day care, senior group, senior class). She is fine if I stay. I'm starting to as old as she is :( . I have to slow down my pace, scream to be heard, mime things for confirmation. I was 50 when I started now I feel 80.
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Just to add another thought.
It might depend on three things: age, physical health, introversion/extraversion level"
Mom was in IL for 8 1/2 years. She moved from a house she couldn't keep up (sat at the kitchen table all day, did nothing) Once moved she treated us to nonstop complaints and negativity the entire time. She had one or two friends (she chose friends who were also negative and complainers) She didn't socialize much, but we suspect more than she wanted us to know, but mostly sat in her apartment. (She was in her 90's and never had many interests even when young)
My sister is 78. Her husband died last year, as did my mother. Sis had a house in the country with 65 acres, gorgeous, easy to keep home. What did she do? She immediately sold the house and moved - Where? - you guessed it - to the same IL as Mom was in.
Sis is an extrovert and has to be around people all the time. She is happier than a pig in mud - excited about all the activities, plans to take trips with them, been there two months and has made several friends, etc.
So, it depends. All we can do for our parents is make it easy for them to get into activities and meet people their age, but they have to choose and it might not be what we choose for ourselves.
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I think its very important. My mom spent the last 2 years ( while living with me and my hubby ) saying she didn't need friends. well she moved into a senior apt with activity's and a private bus recently and shes like a new person already. She no longer sits in the recliner ALL day. Shes already had more human interaction and physical activity in the last month than she had in the whole 2 years she lived with us. She is no longer just sitting there waiting to die. I guess everyone is different and like other posters have said it depends on how they were before. but oh the JOY of finally having some new things to talk about ( don't have to hear the same stories I've heard for 2 solid years )
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1golf lady,

That is a GREAT AND IMPORTANT story--and I am rolling on the floor laughing about the new things to talk about after 2 years.

Be well!
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My Mom is a social person but not a game player or puzzle do. Reading was her main enjoyment and she can no longer do that. If the money was there, I'd place her into an AL. She would at least have a social life. At this point of her Dementia, she will not be learning anything new.
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Just remember people that it is THEIR emotional well being so it is what works for THEM not what you think they ought to be experiencing. Drag me along to anything social and I will be miserable leave me alone and let me do my own thing and I am as happy as a pig in poo.
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