In need of an advocate. Any ideas?

Hi,
I'm new here and feeling very overwhelmed. I am 59 years old and have a 74 year old disabled spouse with numerous health problems that I care for, and have recently realized that my elderly father (who will be 84 this year) is starting to exhibit early signs of dementia. He lives about 3 hours away from us... he is widowed and lives on his own, and has always been very independent but no longer drives.

I am an only "child," have no one to help me navigate my husband's illness, much less what is going on with my dad, now. I will be traveling to go to a doctor's appointment on Monday with my dad to talk about our concerns (he recognizes the signs himself and is worried) and a caregiver will stay with my husband, but I feel like I'm drowning and don't know what to ask, how to even think about care for dad, what to do about a POA (which does not currently exist), etc. I don't even know how to determine if he is eligible for any kind of caregiving or a long-term care facility with the type of insurance that he has (Medicare Advantage HMO) if/when it becomes necessary.

I'm juggling these things with a full-time, demanding job that at least I'm able to do remotely from home (made that arrangement with my employer so that I could care for my husband when Covid first started, and I continue to do so).

With no family that can help and no friends to speak of that I can rely on for something like this, I feel like I need some sort of advocate that can help me wade through some of this before I get totally in over my head, someone who can almost literally take me by the hand and explain things very clearly to me, step by step, on what I need to do to plan for what may be coming.

Does such a thing exist? Or is my best bet just to hire an elder care attorney? What does something like that cost?

Thanks so much for listening,
Sandra