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My 84-year-old DH is becoming increasingly incontinent. I have no experience with this and would like suggestions from the forum for disposable under garment products. He is very thin, about 5'11", 160 lbs. Product should work for both urine and fecal incontinence. Functional...yet, of course, as comfortable to wear as possible. So far, he can stand for pull ups, but I see him losing that ability soon as well.


Also, what are some types of sitting/sleeping protective liners you have found to be helpful? Thanks

i used depends pull-ups. They tear easily at the side when I take them to the commode to change them and clean them up. Mr. was close to 230, and she was 140 lbs.
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Reply to Lizhappens
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Diapers are your friend
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Reply to Sample
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I can give only suggestions for a fairly active non-bedfast female.

use outer waterproof pants and line with a long pad next then a folded widthwide paper towel placed front to back held in place with a thin liner. If im allowed to say brand names … i use equate options liners for the last layer.

since everything is layered you can adjust and replace pieces as needed.
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Reply to Betsysue2002
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Start by using male pull-ups that can tear away at the sides. These work for most situations. If he is having a lot of urine at night, you can also put a disposable overnight pad in the front and place a waterproof mattress pad underneath him.

When my husband was recovering from cancer surgery, we found it best to use the pull-ups and I cut a king size waterproof mattress pad (the kind that is thick and absorbs fluids but not the plastic sheet types) into fourths. That way we had 4 "pads" to use. He only needed 1 per night.
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Reply to Taarna
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We prefer the pull ups even for my bedbound adult who still gets into the wheelchair.

*The problem for my man is what they call a "neurogenic bowel and bladder). Basically, that means that since he has a neurological disorder the brain is no longer able to connect all the wires with the hardware even if they had been able to use the toilet for decades. (A stroke, MS, or Parkinson's might be a neurological reason.)

The tape tabs have cut into my guy's skin too often when people other than me put them on. Yes, the sides do rip so you can get them off without soiling all the way to the ankles.

I get our incontinent supplies from my local CVS with lots of discounts because I buy so much. I put disposable underpads for nighttime on the bed in layers. Male incontinent pads ( looks like sanitary napkins) add a layer of protection. However, some men don't like the thought of using something that may seem too feminine.
(I've also ordered from Walmart.com to have them delivered.)

Don't forget that we all had at one time used only washables. We did not have disposables. My guy calls his special hand clothes or washcloths what they are: his "crotch towel" to catch the drips even with a catheter in his belly. (Supra pubic catheter _ no I do not suggest a catheter. Talk with your doctor.)
I use white vinegar to cut the ammonia order.

*Start by talking to your primary care provider. There may be some legit medical reasons that the doctor can help you with. The causes and 'cures' may differ.

I have some examples.
Some may surprise you. Remember I am not diagnosing nor treating, especially because I don't know this loved one.

1) Read up on good old CONSTIPATION. But wait... he/she has diarrhea!
Don't let runny stools fool you...if there is a hard dry lump stuck in there, all the rest is going ooze around that hard as rock feces. I know, this doesn't sound right, but, trust me and ask the doctor who will tell you the same.

2) Constipation can mess with how urine comes out of the bladder or sits in the bottom of the pool with the overflow leaking out. When urine sits too long in the bladder it will grow bacteria.

Bacteria in the urine from sitting in the bladder too long or feces contaminating will cause a urinary tract infection. (UTI) Who remembers "Honey Moon cystitis"? You run to pee every 20 minutes only to let out teaspoonfuls. It is the same principle here only older folks were trained to not talk about 'such things.

Decreased activity and decreased liquids may be a reason for constipation.

3) Overactive bladders might be treated with medication.
4) Your doctor may prescribe a "laxative". Remember that there can be side effects that you'd want to talk to the doctor or pharmacist about. _ Not your next-door neighbor's cousin's brother.
5) Your doctor may talk about a "toileting schedule" or a "bowel and bladder program". Yes, there really are such times.

I hope this gives you a few things to think about.

PS, buy some disposable gloves for you to wear during clean up.
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Reply to WellPreserved
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Judycares: Get adult protective undergarments, aka Depends, with pull away sides. Imho, it will be much easier on the wearer AND the changer.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Really absorbent are Wellness Briefs. They have pull-ups, and regular diapers with tabs. They also have booster pads to add to briefs and bed pads (that want leak). I purchase from their website at wellnessbriefs.com. They will send you samples that you can request on their website.
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Reply to TakingCareofMon
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MySugar Sep 18, 2022
Wellness are the BEST!!!
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The Depends Maximum Absorbancy pull-ups work great for mom. Never had an issue with them. We buy off Amazon "Depend Fit-Flex Adult Incontinence Underwear for Women, Disposable, Maximum Absorbency". Anything less than "Maximum Absorbency" is really not enough for her. The pull-ups supplied by hospice were very thin, did not hold much, and ripped on the sides.

For the pads, we ordered from amazon as well. The best ones we got are these:
https://rb.gy/w56fz1
There were a little more expensive, but hold pretty much everything and are washable (I use bleach on them with no issues so far).

By the way, I don't get any kick-backs from Amazon or anything, just the easiest and cheapest way we have found to get these for her.

If you want a disposable pad, be sure to get something that is heavy duty. My experience has been that they are thin like puppy pee pads and don't hold enough for one incident unless you get something heavy duty.
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Reply to caring4kin
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A Gastroenterologist can order prescriptions that stop the nightmare.
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Reply to ConnieCaretaker
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Is hospice involved?

My mother , with dementia, qualifies for the palliative care side of Hospice care, based on her inability to quit losing weight. (She eats all her meals, and at least two snacks per day.)

All of her incontinence supplies are taken care of by her hospice company, and Medicare pays for them.
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Reply to cxmoody
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Didn't have great luck with Always so order Direct Dry from Amazon. Regular for daytime, overnight ones for(you guessed it) overnight and liners in all the time. Trying to get her to change the liner instead of the pullup but with dementia that's quite the challenge.

These are expensive but much less accidents so that makes it worth it.

Have you taken hubby to the doctor for his incontinence (both types)? Maybe there is something that can be done? For example, my mom has exercises to do and I'm keeping her away from bladder irritants like caffeine, booze and carbonation.

For the bowel issues, if it's diarrhea, sometimes a med or a food can be causing this issue.

If it's just not making it to the bathroom in time for peeing and pooping, might have to put him on a toileting schedule, maybe every 2 hours. Like you need another chore to do but it does work for some and I know it's common in AL facilities, for example.

Good luck.

Does he have dementia?
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Reply to againx100
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Hi Judy. For my Mom, we use Depends brand pull ups during the day. I’ve tried many and find these to be the easiest to pull up quickly, fit snugly, and are comfortable for her. She cannot stand for more than a minute or so. I put two on at a time and tear the sides off of the first one to remove for a quick change without taking pants off. At night we use Tena Stretch tab type. I find that same time every day on the commode following a cup of coffee or something else known to get her to go helps limit fecal accidents. A few occurrences recently while still in bed so now early each morning I remove the tab type depends and leave her with a disposable bed pad underneath which is an easier clean up. I hope something I’ve shared is helpful.
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Reply to Sweetstuff
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Judycares Sep 9, 2022
THhanks so much. I can use this information.
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Well...I found out AFTER caring for Mom that pullups rip down the sides. Wish I had known that. And, that there is a way to get new ones on a person without taking pants off.

For my Mom I bought Walgreens Serenity brand. They would have a coupon in their monthly sales booklet or buy one get the other half priced when on sale.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Judycares Sep 9, 2022
Oh. Good to know about the pull away sides!
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