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Thank you both for your kind words. I do need to ask more questions..
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Nancy, your mother's surgeon wouldn't be recommending surgery if he weren't convinced that it is necessary to avoid suffering - no surgeon would risk major surgery on a lady in her nineties without a seriously good reason for it. Are you happy with the way he's explaining the risks to you? Don't hesitate to keep asking questions, if not.
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Nancy girl, I loved my mom to bits and pieces. I get it. If it were my mom, I would insist the doctor advise me As if it were his mom. Then, I would take his adbice. If he advised surgery, I would sign a DNR and pray the Lord took her during surgery.

I'm so sorry.
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My mom is 92 yrs old with advanced dementia. She has been diagnosed witb malignant parotid cancer. First time she's ever faced possible surgery. The removal of the tumor would be quite hard on her physically. The surgeon said it would eliminate great pain for her as it continues to grow. I'm so torn on what to do.. Don't know if its spread anywhere else in her body and chemo or radiation isn't an option as it would take her for sure.
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my mom is 79 years old and has uterinecancer stage 1 since october 2010.the doctors said she had to have surgery but she has other medical problems.hypertension ,diabetes and checking her heart but the appoitments are so far apart the surgery was supposed to have been in january but my mom will not innisit on having the appointments sooner.I think she is depress and afraid because she had breast cancer 37 years ago and always stated if cancer came back she would never have a operation again. Also we lost my younger sister past away 4 years ago from lung cancer Should Ijust not ask her anymore about the urgency of the operation and just let her be?
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very often elders do not tolerate some of the conventional treatments for cancer well... My Father had bladder cancer it spread to his prostate and his bones. We did several conservative things, a shot into his abdomen, and oral medications. Bless his heart they did not cure it and he went to heaven peacefully and comfortably, at home... We did have hospice care for medications and equipment... They were wonderful!!! I would encourage you to talk with your loved one and ask what they want. Listen and respect their wishes... take care, J
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My husband had prostate cancer at 50 and required immediate and radical treatment due to being relatively young to have prostate cancer. We were told by the oncologist that the treatment would have been to do nothing if he had been much older. One thing I have learned lately is that there is rarely one perfect answer to medical questions, and there is always hope. Take care.
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Stells, from what I checked into--age can be a inportant factor with keeping things at bay--depending on the type of cancer you are referring to. I would check with an oncologist about this.
Best,
Hap
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It can be...In my grandfathers situation his age and health have ruled out more invasive types of cancer treatment to his prostate cancer. The Dr said basically it is so slow moving and his is already in such compromised health that surgery and chemo and radiation would be more stressful than beneficial. Basically it will come down to health and Personal choice with cancer treatments and what one can afford I guess.
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