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I cared for my husband for many years, but the last 22 months of his life he was completely bedridden, had vascular dementia, and was under in home hospice care. He too was incontinent, but he had a supra pubic catheter that made life so much easier. I did have an aide that came every morning to put him on the bedside commode, so he could poop, and that worked out pretty well. As you already know, having hospice involved still leaves 99% of the care on you, so please make sure you are either hiring some outside help in to help you, or other family members, so you can make sure that you are getting away to do things that you enjoy. That is the most important thing I can tell you from my personal experience, and that is to take time away just for you, as caregiving is very demanding, and tiring, and you will need that time to rejuvenate your soul. What you are doing isn't easy, but you can do it, as long as you take care of yourself too. God bless you.
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Sorry to hear about she is on home hospice. My loved one is bedridden with incontinence issues and I am his caregiver but our situations are different I see. All I can say is , I use a good pullup (Tranquility overnights or Depends) and if needed stick a think pad guard inside the pullup. I "cope" by thinking he would do this for me if it was the other way around and that I do have future choices that I can make. I can hire someone to come to my home and help me is one of them. Hope this helped a little .
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