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I feel for all those missing graduations and once in a lifetime events. What is incredibly hard to process is having your adult child's livelihood decimated so quickly. My daughter and her husband own their own small business. They are entering their normally busy time after a slow winter. They have a mortgage,rent and numerous other expenses and a young family to support.

With all the closings they are one family amongst millions if likely not more that will bear great loss. The big stores can manage especially as they are selling out of so much. All the restaurants closing will also affect so many. I understand the need for safety but I fear greatly that an isolating affect will triple down for a long long time. Will all landlords turn into understanding citizens?

As I write this she and her husband are being shamed into staying open even though they are not in a hot spot for the disease. They need to stay open for any possible business they might have. Who has that audacity to be critical of them?

I realize that the world is in this together. Some businesses will survive given their prominence in the marketplace as well as certain benefits employees may be entitled to. What will happen to countless others once reserves dry up?

This particular daughter of mine is generally of the mindset that a glass is always half full. To hear her in tears with great fear is beyond heartbreaking. There is no way I can find positivity for my life knowing what she is going through. Yes there is help out there but there is tremendous red tape to go through to find that relief.

I am sorry to say this but if a person at an advanced age with compromising circumstances passes from this disease perhaps it is for the best. I wish the ages of those succumbing was reported more accurately. There are so many here sharing stories of great sacrifice caring for the elderly with little to no quality of life left. I understand I am not God but how much despair can we expect to feel in those cases. The youth represent the future,both in our lives and hopefully for the good in the world moving forward. To witness so many of them suffering is catastrophic.
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I’m so sorry, River. It’s sad. We love our kids. If they hurt, we hurt. Just how it is.

This coronavirus crap is reminding me of the devastation that our city dealt with during Hurricane Katrina. Okay, yeah it’s nothing compared to Katrina. Our city was under water and it looked like a freakin war zone where bombs went off with the destruction from the high winds and all. Some businesses weren’t able to recover, others slowly made their way back. Others came back with a vengeance and became better than they ever were.

I don’t know, bad memories from the devastation. Good memories from our city pulling together. Dealing with this situation, a different kind of crisis, still kind of brings it all back. People struggling to cope. Know what I mean?

I better shut up. I don’t want to depress you. I am wishing for the very best for your daughter and my daughters. We love our kids so very much, don’t we? 😊
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Academy of country music awards postponed.
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Yes. Here in northern California the senior community where my mother lives has now banned all visitors, including family members. My 92 year old mom lives in the independent living section but is on Home Health care due to a recent fall and injury and now also has a caretaker 8 hours a day every day until she recovers enough to be independent again, and that is a lifesaver because I've also been isolating myself for the last week because I'm over 60 and am vulnerable also due to underlying medical issues. A little over a week ago I let my adult children and grandchildren know I'd not be visiting nor want visits because of this vulnerability. My husband had been working as a rideshare driver but stopped because of the risk of exposure to the virus from passengers. He switched to food delivery (thank heaven he was already signed up with them so it was an easy transition) and has been very careful but starting tomorrow he will also be hunkering down with me. He's always been a germ phobe and good about disinfecting his vehicle and washing his hands, so our fingers crossed that he won't have contracted the virus and pass it to me. We will be in dire financial straits quickly, but no amount of income is worth risking our health or that of others. I call my mom every day and she also calls me. Keeping in touch by phone helps! I don't know if that would work for your mom with Alzheimer's. Wishing you and your mom the very best in this trying situation.
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Shutdown of facilities has been recommended by the CDC now, I believe so most facilities will be doing this. In your mother's case, how much care does she actually need? I know you were spending weekends and evenings with her but how much hands on does she need. Ask the facility she is in what their plan is to provide the care you have been providing for her. Are you still able to have the nurse with her? Can you extend her hours a little? I am a retired nurse and I know that when family was present, we did not need to attend to patients as much but when family was not available, we did take care of them. This has to be very scary for you.
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Yes, colleges have gone online, all schools closed, and most events are canceled. My husband will be working from home. We're in our 70's. I'm already on break from the college where I teach. I had decided for myself to not visit my mom in assisted living and two days later they said no visitors. If this goes on too long I'm afraid she will forget me. Right now I'm the only person she knows. I've tried talking to her on the phone, but she gets confused about who she's talking to and thinks I want someone else in the kitchen where they give her the phone. I'm going to have to ask them to take her to her room and I will call on her own phone. Maybe they can set up a face time on the facility laptop for us. I've been pretty much self isolated for two weeks, except to go for walks, get food, and buy art supplies. I might start having everything delivered. Over a hundred cases in my state, but none in my county.
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Artist,

Over a hundred in my state as well. Two deaths in New Orleans 😞.

My daughter is graduating this year and her graduation was canceled (LSU) so they will mail out diploma. My husband is at home too.

Our governor asked everyone 60 and over to self quarantine. Places are closing earlier than normal. Restrictions placed on how many can eat in restaurants and so on.
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I think I am going to go see my mom tomorrow. If they let me, I’ll talk to her through the window, though she probably won’t be able to hear me nor I, her. It is a one floor facility, and each room has a large window. She does not have a phone in the room. I wonder if there are inexpensive phones we could buy for short term. Something I could call her on and she would only have to press a button to answer. I’m always seeing on TV shows about criminals using “burner” phones which can’t be traced and are throw away devices. Or walkie-talkie set! There we go! She could see and hear me. Anyone have any suggestions! She could not handle Facetime or even figure out how to use a cellphone.
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TNtechie Mar 2020
Well it's not a burner but my mother loves her jitterbug flip. The dial tone when she opens it and the yes/no question menu format works well for her. Being able to press yes, yes to call the first name in the "phone book" is good too, or for an additional fee she can press the 5 star button and get an "operator" who will dial anyone in her phone book for her.

https://www.greatcall.com/phones/jitterbug-flip-cell-phone-for-seniors
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That's the problem with all the recommendations to keep in touch through facetime or any other modern technology Treeartist, many, many seniors have lost the ability to use even a simple land line and lots of facilities don't have any staff willing or able to figure out other options.
And as far as I can figure out a "burner phone" is simply a prepaid phone, supposedly they are readily available and cheap enough to be disposable but my "cheap" phone cost me $160 (plus tax).... but then maybe you Americans can get stuff cheaper.
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Yes, cwillie, that’s what I meant! A pre-paid phone! I’ve never used one. I’ll look them up. Thank you, TNtechie, for the suggestion of the jitterbug flip. I’ll look that one up too.
I just talked to the nursing facility and they are setting up an ipad to allow family members to talk to residents at a designated time.
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Shell38314 Mar 2020
You also might want to look into Trace phone (not sure of the spelling). My parents had them and they are pretty cheap and no contacts. You just buy a phone card which most stores carry. I programmed my parents phone so all they had to do is push one number to call me. My dad (now gone) had a hard time using a regular cell phone, but he could use a Trace phone.

Just a thought!
Good luck!
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I live in Ct. Schools have shuttered restaurants are open for take out only. Bars are closed and stores have limited hours if they remain open. Hospitals are not allowing visitors. I'm sure more restrictions will follow. While it's sad you are unable visit with your mom, please understand this is for her own safety. We are at the cusp of potentially overwhelming our hospitals and lives will be lost from the sheer volume of patients. Extreme measures are necessary to fight this and I think a national shutdown is the only viable solution to fight this and save lives. Doing this in a state by state fashion will only prolong the inevitable. A two week hiatus will allow us the time to get a grip on COVID19 in the form of testing and to be better equipped to handle the influx. This isn't about me....it's about we. Hope both you and your mom stay safe and that you will be able to visit with her soon.
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The SF Bay Area is going into lockdown tonight. A shelter in place order was issued today.

https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/shelter-in-place-San-Francisco-Mayor-London-Breed-15135075.php
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It’s not just the Bay Area. Multiple counties just south of the bay are also going in to shelter-in-place, meetings are happening now to get it authorized. Reno has just ordered all non essential businesses to close By 10am tomorrow.
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I am in California and my mother is in a SNF in the Bay Area. It was closed to visitors on Friday.
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YES. But is there a state that isn't now? We are in the North East. Unfortunately, it seems like the most vulnerable people in my life are not taking the precautions they should.

Our family (husband, myself, and kids) are self-quarantining for the next two weeks. Most of our local small business have chosen to shut down for two weeks and my kids schools are closed. Some of their afterschool activities don't even reopen until late-April (and those organizers tell us that is pending).

We still do activities outside (walking, going to trails, etc...), but we are avoiding other people, and we don't plan to hit a grocery store until the panic shopping mellows out.

I've been reading a lot of international news. If the US follows the cycle Italy is going through it will be okay to go to a grocery store in about a week, but only 1 person from each household at a time—preferably with protection (gloves and maybe a mask—though it is debatable how well they work based on fit and type). By that time, though, hospitals will possibly be overloaded.

Currently, I'm cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I don't know why. I'm not a domestic kind of person, but it seems to bring me...comfort... I'm nervous we could end up with a lock down as so many people in our region are not taking this seriously (besides clearing out the grocery stores—from what I hear).
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Your house will be clean! 😊
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Oh, I can believe it. I live in Massachusetts. We're in the #4 position as far as # of COVID-19 infections. Additionally, I work in the life sciences/pharma industry. This virus is HIGHLY contagious - way more so than the seasonal flu. Additionally, you can be completely asymptomatic (no symptoms) and be contagious.

How do you know you're not a carrier? You very well could be. And the mortality rate for elderly is between 15-20%. That's very high for a viral infection.

I haven't been able to visit my mother in almost a week because her facility is in lock down. It's for the best. My mom has congestive heart failure too and it's likely she wouldn't survive the infection.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Wishing the best for your mom and your community. Thanks for sharing your information with us. 💗
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I am indeed. I cannot tell you how heart breaking this is for me and my mother. Big hugs to all going though this. My father was placed in a Memory Care unit in October after 8 years of home care . He was hospitalized with kidney issues and pnuemonia. They took him off his Namenda and Excelon patch. Took him off his meds..My mother is 76.. Dad is 78 with the disease since 2011. He also has kidney issues and is near the end I'm afraid. We never wanted to place him but at 76 my mother couldn't physically do it. There were lots of bumps but just this month we felt we had a routine and some adjustments with meds. We even hired two lovely private care givers for extra care at mealtimes and companionship ( 4hours)so Mom could rest since she goes daily. Since admission he has become almost completely immobile (was walking assisted prior) Has lost 20 lbs in 5months and displays behavioral issues such as repetitive clapping and high agitation . The choice to place him was hard enough. Now my mother who goes daily as well as myself whenever I can and take an active role in his care are banned since Friday. His private aides are banned. He cannot talk in the phone nor understand where we are. The place is understaffed as it is hence why we go so much. We have forefathers being fed absolved the way we would be. We have to rely on pictures. I cry everyday not knowing how his day is, if he scared,lonely etc. while I understand the reasons behind it the workers pose the same threat of spreading the virus. For active families like ours who are not just casual visitors there should have been the option of daily screenings. Mom went so far as to go to her doctor and get screened and tested and even applied for a job there that's how desperate we are to see him. Here in N Y we are told it can go on for 8 weeks. We are heartbroken and worried. I have called the center of the again and even emailed the governor not that it will do any good. We are desperate.
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"Regular flu" ....
The CDC estimates that so far this season there have been at least 22,000 deaths, 36 million flu illnesses, 370,000 hospitalizations.

Rates for children 0-4 years and adults 18-49 years are now the highest CDC has on record for these age groups

Flu ("regular flu") activity was high in Puerto Rico and 41 states. It was moderate in Ohio and New Hampshire. It was low in the District of Columbia, Alaska, Delaware, Idaho and Nevada.

Only minimal amounts of flu were reported in Arizona, Florida and Wyoming.

*********
And yet, depending on which age group and which source you read, around HALF (50 %) of people do NOT get flu vaccines.

So my thought is, how many will get a coronavirus vaccine when it one day becomes available ???

"Everyone" is so worried about the coronavirus vaccine which has no available vaccine yet. But the "regular flu" which does have a vaccine is not discussed.... is actually ignored when there IS a vaccine available. WHY IS THAT ???? 22,000 deaths is by no means a small amount !!!!
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mally1 Mar 2020
Sounds like an agenda to me.... how many "temporary" powers will be let go of when it's all over? How much "temporary" legislation will be cancelled?
Hmm...
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Harrah’s Casino in New Orleans closing in Louisiana and our neighbors, Mississippi gulf coast casinos are closing as well.

Bars are now closing and restaurants will be take out or drive through only.

All museums are closed. Movie theaters are closed.

Our governor wants to adhere to stricter regulations to reduce spreading. Death rate is at 3. Over 100 cases in our state with the majority being in New Orleans.

A doctor also announced if we are infected we should not be around our animals. We would need to have someone else care for our animals.
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mally1 Mar 2020
Ridiculous! Look it up; what they call CV in animals has totally different symptoms.... Anything to panic people.
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My 91 year old mother has been a resident of a Continuing Care Community, living in an independent duplex with my dad, until he died 2 years ago. She has physically declined since Dad’s death. It’s time to move her to Assisted Living. My intention was to spend a few nights with her in AL (approved ) then visit daily to help her acclimatize.

The night before she was to move, we were told AL is going on lockdown. I can move her, but can’t visit her. They would reassess on Monday. Did we want to wait? Yes! My assumption was the lockdown decision would remain, and Mom would stay in her current place until it was lifted. I would continue to care for her in the interim— I went on FMLA a few weeks ago to do so. But, no. Now mom needs to vacate her place by Friday. Her current place is likely sold. (This is how CCCs work. It’s kind of a Ponzi scheme. You buy in but don’t get your $$ back until you check out for good.) I am gravely concerned over her mental well being. She didn’t want to go to AL and has never been a good advocate for her needs.

I know we are contractually obligated to move by Friday. But how can they let anyone in AL after they’ve locked it down?
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
I see what you are saying. I suppose it depends on if they will see it the way you are seeing it. I hope so for your sake.

These are not ordinary times so maybe you won’t have any issues and they will make an exception about the deadline that was issued.

I would be understanding of it but it isn’t me that you are dealing with.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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amazing.. The place should have in tactics to allow direct family members access, with disposable booties, gloves, masks..
BEE SUITS.

Bees suits are very protective...

Seriously an allowed select few of family members on a list should be permissable. If they deny it.. LET THEM KNOW IN WRITING THEY ARE TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MOM... !!
My LO had CHF for so many years...She lived for so many years... I think I have CHF... I will get it checked one of these days... MY feet swell up constantly,. One sign of CHF...
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My sibling was trying to get me upset and panicky about the virus... Do you have supplies for 30 days? Did you apply for credit? You know this is worse then the bird flu!!!
Did you know that "they" ordered 250,000 more body bags?
Really... I texted, reserve one for me and put my name on it.... I am too tired to get into the panic mode...
Do you have food for 30 days? Pet food? I texted him a pic of my dog and cat together. And then the other cat for some reason, likes to fold himself into small things.. LIKE MY CAST IRON PAN !!! (salad bowl, pIace mat, ) texted my sibling : cat is stuffed and ready to bake...
My caretakers for aunt asked me not to bring in dog as they too can be carriers of this virus...
Precautions are on the rise... Be Patient... Keep your kool cap on, stay calm, and sit back a moment before reacting... Better said then done.... I don't do that, but I am trying. grab a glass of wine.. AND BLOG...
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Concerned? Yes. Stressed to the max? Nope! What’s the point? Not helping anything. Why raise our blood pressure from excessive stress? Love your attitude!

Hahaha, I did pour a glass of Pinot earlier to chill out with. Needed a break from it all.

Dinner was cheese, fruit, crackers and wine!
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Decision time approaches.

Mom and I are both in the high risk group but there's only been 3 cases (all related to international travel) within 100 miles of our home in Northeast TN (across 3 states). We live in a mostly rural area with 3 medium sized cities (around 60,000 each) and several small cities (10,000-20,000). Following the CDC recommendations, schools, churches, and other organizations have retreated to online only or canceled meetings for at least 2-3 weeks. Restaurants have gone to every other table seating or delivery only.

Mom's ADC is still open since it has less than 40 clients; there's a full time nurse there checking each client twice a day and supervising extra cleaning.

My brother (who normally visits 1-2 times weekly) is working reduced hours in a factory where workers are distanced by manufacturing requirements and he is taking hygiene and distancing seriously.

My nephew (who lives next door and his kids are normally in our home daily) is continuing his construction work and his crews are probably the most covid-19 unconcerned people in our social circle. Because construction is dirty work, my nephew's daily after work routine is to pull his boots off outside the house and then head to the laundry room to stripe down to his boxers (clothes straight into washer) before taking a shower. His wife really just woke up to the potential threat covid-19 poses to her parents (in their 80s and lifelong smokers) in the last few days. Most of the kids are old enough to understand why hygiene is important; they have not protested hand washing and changing into clean clothes after school when entering my home. Since this weekend, their step-mother started enforcing the same rules in her/their home.

I order food for delivery or pick up or get my brother or niece-in-law to bring a few items when they are already out doing their own shopping. Mom and I are capable of living in almost total isolation... so when do we begin? Although Mom has MCI, she still practices her lifelong good hand washing discipline and will use sanitizer whenever asked.

My plan has been to continue ADC until there is a community spread case in our area, primarily because Mom wants to go. I can live without the respite ADC provides but Mom really wants to get out of the house. On the non-ADC days, she often spends most of the afternoon trying to talk me into taking her visiting, although the people she wants to visit are frequently long deceased. I've been ill and not up to taking her on drives but hopefully that will change soon.

Continue ADC, let the kids keep coming and my brother continue visiting, at least until there's some cases in our community? Or isolate ourselves now?
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I would ask the community if they could purchase an Alexa Show or Google device, which would allow residents to interact with loved ones. Not certain if the communities have the capacity to do this now. Ideally, you could purchase a device for your loved one's room, but the community may not be willing to set it up. However, if you and/or other families, purchased units for the community as a whole, maybe they would consider installing it. My Mom is in Memory Care. Having Alexa Show has been a godsend given the lock down.
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Just had a lovely talk with my mother on FaceTime. The facility has bought several iPads. Family members sign up to get a call at a certain time and the activity directors make the call for the resident. It was so good to see her face! - though she didn’t want to look at the screen because she said she looked terrible! I told her everyone looks awful on those screens. She kept looking at her face instead of mine, and turning away! I think you can eliminate the self screen. I’ll ask about it. She told me that the food has been wonderful there lately, so I wonder if they are cranking up the menu during this time of isolation? They normally have pretty good food, and she doesn’t complain about it much.
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schrederkim,

I reread your original post. She is not in independent living, but an independent care facility. What does that mean? Privately owned? What level of care? It sounds like nursing home level, but how is it they you have been providing the nursing care instead of them? In a later post, you said that you give her showers, medication, food, and change bandages. If this facility is unable to provide these services, and they won’t let you in to do them, she should be moved to one that can provide proper care.
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Techie, you asked...I think given the vulnerabilities, the rapid spread, the lack of sufficient tests, I would err on the side of caution.  It's easier to be proactive than to deal with the consequences.    And there's peace in isolation. 

And unfortunately, we don't know until too late if we've been in contact with someone who's carrying the virus.   So, why take chances?  

From your description, it sounds as though b/c your area is rural, there wouldn't be that many hospitals, especially ones equipped with the necessary testing, quarantine, neg pressure rooms or isolation facilities.  Even the larger metro areas don't have everything they need in the hospitals.   Again, why take the chance?  

This is an interesting article on the subject, on the resistance of some of the Millennials, of young people who don't accept and won't cooperate with the quarantine guidelines.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/a-generational-war-is-brewing-over-coronavirus/ar-BB11ihOw?ocid=spartandhp

Any one of us could come in contact with someone with this mindset and be exposed.    To me, it isn't worth the risk.   

And truthfully, I'm really enjoying not feeling obligated to go out.   I  love staying home and reading, and I've got boxes and boxes of material, of yarn, embroidery thread, art work to complete, and now that I've got my new eyes, I can play music again.  So I'm enjoying this respite.

And it's almost planting time!

If my father were alive though, I would be quarantining him, especially since his church friends had no common sense and brought over bunches of kids whenever they wanted to visit.   

I might have taken the chance if I were younger, and hadn't gone through a caregiving journey, but after that, I've become much more anxious about exposures, especially to COVID 19.  

Be safe, but not sorry.
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mally1 Mar 2020
GA, I hear you on how nice it can be to have a good reason (excuse?) to stay home and do whatever we want. I can't get into the AL to see my client, so I call her every day or two to see how she is, and can't go to church - 60 miles away.... maybe a time of rest and reset? It IS awfully hard on so many others, though, so much prayer going on here. My husband is a first responder, but he could be quaranteened for 2 weeks if he gets a CV patient; not to mention, catch the stupid thing - God Forbid!
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well the inevitable has happened—my county has its first 2 confirmed cases. Both patients picked it up while traveling internationally. And we have been ordered to shelter in place! All nearby counties already ordered sheltering in place but my county was dragging its feet!

This is day 2 of the schools being closed and let me just say.....my patience is shot. I am not cut out for home schooling! So much respect for teachers who do this daily because I just about lost my mind trying to keep my & year focused and on task. But on the bright side we are healthy and safe at home and that is all that is important. My husband has to go in to work, his profession is one that never shuts down and is fortunate/unfortunate enough to have job security no matter what and while the city is essentially closed, he still has to report for work. He works a desk job now so he’s not at as much risk as most of his coworkers so I am not too worried. Selfishly I kind of wish he was working with home and could share in the home school duties to save my sanity hehe! It is what it is....I am glad we are ordered to shelter in place.
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Myownlife Mar 2020
Good luck, and now today the rest of us country-wide are to shelter in place. I believe I also heard UK is starting it.
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Makes no sense you cannot see your mother. Ask your county how to safely gain family visits.
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DianaF Mar 2020
It makes no sense but it is the new rule nationwide for facilities, for the time being. No one allowed in except for staff and they have their temperature taken every day before they are allowed in.
I think everyone is in a state of shock and dread about the coronavirus deaths at the Seattle nursing home.
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Worried, how old are you children?    Could you induce them to a quiet state by projects such as coloring?  Lots of down time?  Nap time?
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