I don't have children but even after years of caring for an elderly parent, I still find it hard to make all these decisions for care for another person, like chosing the right doctors, dentists, making medicial choices, when to push for certain behaviors and when to let it go etc. I get anxiety and stressed, wondering if I am doing the right thing. I wonder if caregiving comes easier for certain personality types or those with a certain attitude or the reality is that caring for elderly on your own is a really hard job. Do those of you who had children and now care for parents find it the same or harder dealing with the basics?
Raising my son was stressful, but watching my Mom move backwards is harder. I find it strange how we are born not knowing how to take care of ourselves, we grow up and do take care of ourselves, then as we get older, we lose that ability again. There have been times when taking care of my Mom is like taking care of a toddler again, it is heartbreaking
I consider myself a born caregiver in life...with my mom this is the hardest thing i have ever done.
One reason that has not been mentioned is caregiver age. I'm a senior now and I get tired more easily. When I was taking care of my son I was much younger and had more energy. Trying to schlep my 92 year old deaf mother around is extremely tiring.
I must say that raising children is a cakewalk compared to caring for elderly parents (I may change that opinion when my children reach the dreaded teenage years, though). Children are a blank slate, you are forming your experiences with them as you go, and they look up to you. For the most part, they do what you say, they argue, of course, but eventually they comply. With your parents, you have years of experience with them already, and there is so much anger, frustration and resentment on both sides. It's very difficult to experience role reversal - your parents still think they know what's best, and they often don't listen. They're dealing with their loss of independence, and you're dealing with it as well. Being a young adult watching my parents deteriorate when they were so recently vital and independent has been difficult. I cannot imagine what they are going through. And I try to keep that in mind when dealing with them - if I'm having a hard time with it, they are having a harder time.
i do believe though, that if more young people had to caregive for the elderly, we might have less of a population problem!
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