Is it ever ok to say no to caregiving?

Yes.

PS. I have an account with 3 agencies. I also hire private duty cna's. Each Wednesday my boyfriend and I have a bet as to whether CNA K. will show up.

Ubsueg, I remember some time ago I chatted with my parents about "what if they needed to hire a caregiver". I asked them would it be ok if the caregiver was 65 years old? If the caregiver was never trained in caregiving? If the caregiver hated to drive"? If the caregiver couldn't lift one of them if one fell? yada, yada, yada.

My parents said "no" to the above questions and then some. Then I said, well that caregiver would have been me. It was an interesting eye opener for them. And my Dad remember that when later down the line he asked if there were places where he could hire a caregiver :)

It is rarely a good idea for a senior to be a caregiver to older seniors. I remember going to my parent's doctor appointment, there the 3 of us were, all using canes. Dad and I couldn't get Mom to use a taxi, so I white knuckled it to all their appointments.

Yes, it is ok to say, "No". Also, it is ok to let your sister deal with it. You told her you would not help with hands on care and/or be a backup caregiver. She wanted to keep your mother home so now has to deal with the situation. From what you say, your mother would be safer in a facility, probably more than assisted living, to ensure she is safe and your mental and physical health is protected.

I hear you . My sister finally took My father to California . She Immediately called his stockbroker , 401 K and Now wants to sell our House . My Dad is in about stage 5 of Alzheimers . My sister Has No idea of his medical History . I Realize that after several years of caregiving Not only for him but for my mother , brother and a tenant that died - That if or when he comes Back Not sure I Can take care of him . I have started Looking at Assisted living Places . I Realize my health is suffering and I have No energy . Fatigued . I think you should just lay it on the line your caregiving days are Over . I Got asked into coming back to my Dads 2 and a half years ago - I wish I had not . Your Mother sounds pretty bad and needs round the clock help . Thats the thing about Aides they show up late or Not at all . In theory it sounds Like a Plan but the reality is much Harsher . I wish you Luck in finding some peace of Mind .

Yes it is ok to say no. Your sister is in denial about how much care mom needs. It is sad for her but you need to be strong and stick to your guns on this.

Whoa, whoa, whoaaaaa! “I agreed to try” was a dangerous thing to say. Your sister heard this as a “Yes.” The rest of that sentence, “butifitdoesntworkoutthenblahblahblah…” went right into one ear and out the other. There must never be a “but.” Just..NO. That famous, under-used complete sentence.

Have your mother sent back to rehab and argue "unsafe discharge".

Stand your ground. (((Hugs)))).

Yes! If you can't, you can't. You are probably right that she needs to be in AL and/or memory care. You've done so much for so many, and you don't need to take on further responsibilities. With caregiver fatigue, you aren't able to give your best in this situation anyway. Let your sister muddle about until she reaches the conclusion that mom needs to be in a place where professionals care for her. You're done.