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My grandmother, 86, suffers from Alzheimer's and knee problems. We hired a caregiver to look after her, but my neighbor reminded me that caregivers hired outside aren't necessarily reliable. It makes me worry that something like elder abuse will happen. However, my grandmother didn't like moving out of her house, so we couldn't live with her or send her to a nursing home either. I came across an article on how to prevent elder abuse that mentioned a smart speaker with behavioral analytics that can see the status of an elderly person on their phone at any time.  Should I buy this product, or should I continue to persuade my grandmother to stay in a nursing home?

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I think that you need to decide what you want to be sure of and how you want to monitor the situation.

If you live in a single consent state you do not need to tell anyone that you are recording them within your own home. You can not place cameras everywhere, bathroom placement can get you prosecuted, so someone intent on abuse will find a way to do it and not be seen.

Stay in touch with the caregivers and grandma, watch for signs and listen to your gut. Do not hesitate to check out things that feel wrong. Best of luck getting great care for grandma.
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Yannis11 May 2020
Thanks for your advice.
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Yannis, although I think the majority of paid caregivers are upright, hardworking, decent people, there are some doozies out there, and yes, some are downright creepy and predatory. My family has a bad story about a privately hired caregiver who came highly recommended but drained her elderly, sick and vulnerable client of all his money, even house, car and dog (not kidding about the dog).

Depending on what state your gramma lives in, you may need to inform the help that they are being recorded, so if you go down that path you will need to stay within the bounds of the law.

Ultimately, your gramma will require more and more management to keep up the pretense that she is independent in her home. She won't be. Her family will be constantly orbiting around her. My philosophy is that the caregiver(s) must know what they're signing up for and agree to it. It's not just about what gramma wants, since she can't possibly understand the impact her care is having on others. There are many reasons people are terrified of going into a nursing home. New ones are extremely nice and have lots of social opportunities and activities that will keep gramma engaged and help her quality of life. What is the point of her doing a slow decline in solitude most of the day in her home?

If your family is not ready to work on convincing her to transition into a care community, then I strongly recommend that her hired help is through an agency. This way the help is already back-ground checked and vetted. And, if they call in sick or go on vacation or you have problems with them, the agency can provide a sub. The agency is ultimately responsible for what the caregiver does so you would have recourse if there was a problem. Also, I strongly recommend that your gramma's sensitive info be locked down tight so that no one has access to her wallet, banking info, driver's license, passport, passwords, etc. Sometimes theft is a crime of opportunity, so make sure there are no opportunities. I wish your family all the best as you help your gramma! You are awesome for your concern for her wellbeing!
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Isthisrealyreal May 2020
There really is no recourse if an aide steals or commits abuse unless you have proof or actually saw them doing it.

This should be one of the areas that agencies cover, however, they deny any wrongdoing by their employees unless you have solid proof, so paying the extra doesn't get you protection on those issues.

With today's technology it is pretty easy to get a back ground check on someone or use a payroll service that offers this service.

Not being contradictory, I just think that agencies are not as responsible as they should be for the money they make and we should all be realistic in what the actual reality vs expectations are.
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