The other day she was looking at old photographs and pointed out a picture of she and my dad with my brother and I when we were little. She said, “look at my kids”. When I asked her who her kids were she said my brother’s name but not mine. I asked if she knew that it was me; she just had a blank stare. She calls me by my name or honey (which she doesn’t say to anyone else). She hardly knows anyone’s name anymore, but always remembers mine. I told her if I wasn’t her daughter, she would not be living with me.
Sometimes she knows I'm her daughter. Other times, she knows that I'm the nice lady who takes care of her.
Always she knows that she's loved, safe, and cared for
When my Dad was dying my daughter was getting him ready for bed. He was not helpful and when she said "PopPop it's Renee" He said "No u aren't, she is a little girl". Another time he calked for her and when she went he motioned like he was handing her something. I told her to take it. She acted like she was taking it and thanked him. We realized later hevwas handing her a dollar bill like he used to when she was little.
It's OK now -- I take what I can get these days.
Daughter, she sounds just like 97. Her daughter said “Mom, that IS 97”
Aunt looked at me like …”I don’t think so”
Another time a good friend was on hospice with Dementia. I joined another friend to visit with her for a few days. We had a lovely visit. Talked of days gone by. She was very quiet. Smiled and hugged but mostly nonverbal. When we said goodbye to her, I asked if she knew who I was. She shook her head apologetically and smiled.
I said “that’s okay. I’m 97” she turned her head and looked at a photo of the three of us when we were all much younger. I said, “I know. I wouldn’t recognize me either.”
It’s very bitter sweet. I think In a bit it helps us understand that our friend is mostly gone. Big Hugs
I don't correct her because she can't help it. People who suffer from alzheimer's / dementia have brains that are broken.
I let my Mom know that I love taking care of her (no matter who she thinks I am) and that I will always be there for her. That makes her happy as it comforts her and I don't confront or correct her (which would make her feel worse).
Hope this helps a bit,
Jenna