My 71 year old husband is suddenly obsessed with sex chat sites. He tried to charge hundreds of dollars to these sites. He even tried to make arrangements to meet a woman for sex. Fortunately the bank denied the charges and notified me. This is totally not my husband. We’ve been married 53 years. I’ve never had a reason to doubt his fidelity. Anyone else experience anything like this with their loved one who has dementia?
"One really good "friend" has now received $720 from him because she was stuck in Africa."
Is this an equivalent to the Nigerian Prince? She's the Nigerian Princess, Rapunzel, stuck in the tower?
Is there any way to take away all Credit Cards from him, so he can't "send" money to these poor "damsels" (likely men or boys really!)?
Interesting that "when he turns them down he loses them as a "friend."" Doesn't seem to dawn on him that this is all they really wanted, $$$? Even with dementia you'd think something like that would be more of a long term memory - people with hand out who get something are your "friend", but no more hand outs, bye bye!
Also, if he has documented dementia and IF you have POA, can you possibly freeze his credit, so he can't open another credit card? Also, if you can get your hands on his phone, maybe remove the "play store", so he can't add any more apps and remove those he has?
The good news is Hangouts IS going away. It was supposed to be gone a while ago, but it's still "usable". More often than not, it crashes on my PC and I have to open it again. There is another tool to replace it, and one can move their history over, but I haven't done it yet.
(before hitting Post Reply, I did read your profile.. Yikes! Definite burnout. No mention of dementia, but seriously, he's likely at least in the early stages.)
My Husband never did. Totally opposite for him he wanted no intimate contact. I could give him a hug but he would not hug back.
I could give him a kiss when I left the house and when I returned and he would give me a kiss but he would not initiate the kiss. And we are talking a quick kiss not a deep loving kiss. But that was him.
I have heard others in support groups I have been in and they have also experienced spouses with heightened libidos.
Do not doubt his fidelity. This is the broken brain at work not him. Try to see if you can put “parental controls” in effect on the computer and I would also block his use of credit cards.
I had a friend tell me that he might have dementia but when I talked to people they said no that’s how he is. This was when we had first met. To be honest I wish I had listened to my friend and ran.
1 - Change passwords to logon to computers and websites.
2 - Tell him your bank accounts have been "hacked". The "bank" (you) will send new cards (reloadable gift card that looks like a credit card). Destroy his cards and keep your bank info and credit/debit card(s) under lock and key.
3 - Talk to his doctor about his impulse control issues. His primary care doctor may make a referral to a neurologist for evaluation and treatment,
4 - Limit all sexually stimulating inputs to things that revolve around you.
5 - Praying for you!
As Zippy and MAC above mentioned, please do not take it personally, it is beyond their control, it is the illness talking and acting.
Best wishes.
Good luck!