My mam passed away 18 months ago & I’ve had my dad staying with me for what I thought would be a couple of weeks that has now turned into 19 months. They was married for 58 years & was soul mates & best friends. I’ve been here for my dad since my mam had a stroke nearly 2 years ago which left her paralysed & brain damaged it was heartbreaking. I now feel like Im totally drained & worn out. I’ve suffered with depression myself for a number of years. My dad sits watching the television most of the day & when I come home from work I used to love the quietness ( I’ve always liked my own company) which I have found so hard having my dad with me for so long. Is it selfish of me to want to my dad to go back to his own home. I also have 2 brothers which their lives haven’t changed a bit & feel like my life has turned upside down.my dad is 79. I’ve given up my bed so he can have my double bed so I’ve gone into the single bedroom. I feel like I haven’t got a life anymore
Get the suit cases or boxes and put them on ‘his’ bed. The move just happens, no recriminations, no complaints, no explanations. If he asks why, the answer is ‘it’s time’. Repeat "it's time". Repeat "it's time".
Beatty has some good suggestions for discussion about ‘what happens next’.
Makes sense to both start sailing again now. Taking different journeys as you are separate people & are different ages.
Time for your Father to find out just what he wants to do now. What sort of life he wants.. move into an elder village & increase his social life? Have dinner in the dining room with others, join the walking group, the lawn bowls, a men's shed? Or a neat condo for a quiet life, a comfy chair & meals delivered.
Since he has a significant birthday coming up, good timing.
You can help him find a new place to live and get your privacy back.
Best of luck to you and your dad.
Your dad could live 20 more years. You'd be his caregiver. Explain to him that it's time for him to go home and find friends who are more his age. Set a deadline and make sure he meets it.
Good luck to you in resuming your life.
Certainly not selfish, you need to stand up for yourself, it is now or never, the longer this goes on the worse it will get for you.
Be strong, he is your equal, you are an adult, not a little kid, you are entitled to your own life.
Best of luck to you.