My father in law lives with my partner and I, we live in a one bed apartment till we find a bigger home to move into that will fit the 3 of us.
I think he might have dementia but I'm unsure, hes a very quiet man and barely speaks to us except from saying yes and okay. He has been like this his whole life so its difficult to tell whether hes starting to get dementia, through the conversations we have because there isn't any. He has showered 4 times since November and insists its because he doesnt do anything so he doesnt sweat, he sleeps in his clothes and doesn't get changed even when we ask him for laundry. He has also started sleeping from 9am - 10pm and is up through the night. He has had numerous strokes too..could anyone tell me if these are signs of dementia? Thanks
Is he having problems dressing and undressing? If he has lost or limited movement on one side that may explain why he does not want to undress.
He should be evaluated by his doctor. He should get PT if there are problems with movement.
NOW...
Remember when you were 15, 16 years old...what your parents would say when you wanted to do something, or did not want to do something..the "phrase that pays" here is..
MY HOUSE, MY RULES
YOu do not ASK him to change clothes you tell him to give you his clothes.
You do not ASK him to take a shower, you tell him to take a shower.
You set a routine for him. Up by 8. Breakfast then he needs to make up his bed.
(By the way this is your apartment is he in the bedroom and you and your S.O. on the couch?) ((conversation for another post))
Then send him out for a walk, fresh air, a bit of exercise. Should be a minimum of 30 minutes.
Bed should be 10 or so. And no wandering around at night.
Wake him by 8 am so he can begin his routine.
If he can not "follow the rules" in your house you should insist on him looking for a place. From your post and profile it appears he has no other health problems and an "accessible" apartment should not be a problem.
If he does not follow the rules I certainly would not look for a larger place so you can all live together. If he does have dementia the problems get worse not better.
Do you really think finding a bigger home for the 3 of you is a good idea? Are you and your partner willing to continue to be his caregiver as he declines? There are other options, you know.