If my mom's heart stops, we want resuscitation.

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My parents both had detailed what they want including DNR. They were clear they wanted no"heroic actions" including such things as a feeding tube. This was so helpful when my dad was rushed into the hospital with an aortic dissection. He did have surgery to try and repair it, but never fully recovered. I could have prolonged his life with a feeding tube and other invasive procedures, but I knew it wasn't what he wanted. Even though it was difficult for me as I was in essence ending his life. If you don't have medicinal directives then think about what your mom would want, what her life would be like, and then ask yourself are you trying to prolong her life for you or for her.
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May I ask why do you want resisatation? If they have dementia why risk prolonging their suffering? They will only get worse, wouldn't the merciful thing to do be to end current or the inevitable suffering they will face should the option arise.
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Well, if you want CPR administered to your mother, then don't have her sign a DNR. It's that simple. Be advised, however, that CPR on an elder is a very brutal thing and normally breaks ribs and causes lots of injuries, etc. Speak to her doctor about it before you do anything else. I also said I wanted CPR for my father and had a fit about him signing a DNR. Until his doctor took me aside, quietly, and told me all about CPR and what it would involve; how it would affect dad. I immediately changed my mind and told dad I was in agreement with HIM and to go right ahead and sign the DNR.

Just KNOW what's happening BEFORE you have mom sign anything. Same goes for hospice care. KNOW what you're signing up for BEFORE you sign on the dotted line, that's the best advice you will likely ever get.
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Let me tell you the scenario we faced several years ago.

Mom had advancing dementia, had lived in a Nursing Home for about 2 years (private pay) and had had a DNR since my dad died, 10 years prior. I think we revoked it during her hip surgery, but don't really recall.

The NH sent her to the ER one day because her heart rate was dangerously slow. Upon workup, the cardiologist told us that without an emergency pacemaker and then a permanent one surgically implanted the next day, mom would be dead in a few hours.

We sat in the cafeteria of the hospital and talked about it. Mom still knew us all, seemed to take some joy in our visits, the arrivals of great-grand children and the like. My brother, her POA, said decisively "let's ask mom what she wants".

We hastened back to mom's room and my brother put it to her plainly. She needed a pacemaker, or she would die. What did she want.

She closed her eyes, I thought in resignation. 30 seconds later she opened them and said "yes, vigorously. She nodded and said "yes" again several times.

She had the surgery the next day and lived for another 2 1/2 years.
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Social Services will help you with documents explaining what you will allow to be done, and what you will not if you are the POA.
Has your mother already made out her advanced directive? This will guide the doctors if so. If she has not then that cannot be done at this point.
Whomever is listed as the power of attorney will be approached to help make decisions, with the doctor as to what is appropriate. In some instances the doctor will need to explain to family that no amount of CPR or ventilator assist will cure an illness or an age, and that the fragility of the patient makes this actually torture of a body.
You give us no extra information. Do know that what your MOM wanted is going to be considered first. Then the POA or next of kin for the family will be consulted. If the patient has very advanced disease the doctor will have some input for you I am certain.
As a retired RN I have already declined any CPR (as well as artificial feedings of any kind as well as dialysis even temporarily, as well as vent even temporarily) and made out my POLST to hang in the home so that even ambulance personnel cannot attempt it. I know what it feels like to literally crush the fragile ribs in a chest for no reason. I know the torment of trying to keep with us family we are not able to keep with us.
I wish you good luck, and mercy for your much loved one.
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Your profile says Mom suffers from Dementia. If in later stage, I would not resuscitate. There is no quality of life. If suffering from end stage CHF I would not resuscitate. Same with COPD.

As far as I know, without a DNR resuscitation is automatic. Everything will be done to keep a person alive. How does your proxy read? Whatever your Mom wants is the way you decide. Its what she wants not what you want. So if the proxy reads that she wants no extreme measures done to keep her alive than you should not override that. As a Nurse you know that doing CPR can break bones.

As Barb said, a DNR can be revoked and reinstated.
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If mom wants resuscitation, then I would suggest she not sign a DNR.

Under what conditions does mom (or you) want resuscitation?

If she dies of inoperable cancer?

Dies from end stage Alzheimer's?

Or are you in a situation in which she is about to have surgery and you want her resuscitated if she codes?

You can revoke her DNR for surgery and recovery and reinstate it afterwards.
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