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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I'm so sorry your having to deal with this. In my experience it only gets worse with time unless medication is introduced. Even that can be iffy. The only time it gets better is when they are at the very end. Bless both of you, it's so difficult to deal with. Reach out for help for both of you is my best advice.
My Aunt had dementia for 12-ish years before she fell and broke her hip at 100, passing away shortly after that. She kept insisting on getting out of bed when she couldn't really walk unassisted. She wouldn't keep in IV in while in the hospital. She never went in for a shower without some resistance even though the same person was helping her and the routine was the same for years. She resisted shutting the tv off at night and going to bed but was always happier once she was in bed. She was on meds for anxiety and agitation and was helped by 2 to 3 of her very familiar nieces. There are engagement strategies that can minimize resistance but it just depends on the person. Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube for ideas.
Dementia causes a person to lose all their reason and logic, and therefore judgement, and memory (so they can't learn or retain anything new and are forgetting what is currently in their memory). They lose their ability to have empathy for others. Everything about dementia sucks.
Is your wife resisting things because she thinks she can still do these things herself? And if so, have you tried letting her try and do for herself? Your wife is very young to be suffering from dementia, so I am guessing it's early onset Alzheimer's which as you know can go on for 20 years, so you really want her to do as much as she can for herself as there will come a time when she won't be able to do much. I hope that you have some help and are taking time away just for yourself as you will need that to continue on this journey with your wife. And I also hope that your city has an Adult Daycare Center that your wife can go to at least 2 days a week, as they do a great job with folks with any of the dementias(and it will give you time for yourself). You can bring someone there up to 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day. They serve the folks breakfast, lunch and a snack and offer all kinds of activities to keep everyone occupied. Of course there is a cost, but it's worth every penny. And if money is an issue, they do offer some assistance with that as well. Like already said, everyone's dementia journey is different, so just reassure your wife that you're in it for the long haul and that you're not going anywhere. May God bless you and your wife as you take this journey together.
My mother stopped resisting/arguing/fighting when she was in the advanced/late stage of dementia about 6 months before she passed, maybe less. Ativan calmed down her anxiety and aggressive insistence on riding the subway to go see her (deceased) parents and siblings. She was 95 at the time and had been suffering from vascular dementia for 6 years.
There is no predicting this. Every case of dementia is as individual as the person's own fingerprint. You might discuss the loved one you are speaking of with the doctor, and see if there is any medication that may help a bit. Just so sorry you are going through this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Aunt had dementia for 12-ish years before she fell and broke her hip at 100, passing away shortly after that. She kept insisting on getting out of bed when she couldn't really walk unassisted. She wouldn't keep in IV in while in the hospital. She never went in for a shower without some resistance even though the same person was helping her and the routine was the same for years. She resisted shutting the tv off at night and going to bed but was always happier once she was in bed. She was on meds for anxiety and agitation and was helped by 2 to 3 of her very familiar nieces. There are engagement strategies that can minimize resistance but it just depends on the person. Watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube for ideas.
Dementia causes a person to lose all their reason and logic, and therefore judgement, and memory (so they can't learn or retain anything new and are forgetting what is currently in their memory). They lose their ability to have empathy for others. Everything about dementia sucks.
Your wife is very young to be suffering from dementia, so I am guessing it's early onset Alzheimer's which as you know can go on for 20 years, so you really want her to do as much as she can for herself as there will come a time when she won't be able to do much.
I hope that you have some help and are taking time away just for yourself as you will need that to continue on this journey with your wife.
And I also hope that your city has an Adult Daycare Center that your wife can go to at least 2 days a week, as they do a great job with folks with any of the dementias(and it will give you time for yourself). You can bring someone there up to 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day. They serve the folks breakfast, lunch and a snack and offer all kinds of activities to keep everyone occupied. Of course there is a cost, but it's worth every penny. And if money is an issue, they do offer some assistance with that as well.
Like already said, everyone's dementia journey is different, so just reassure your wife that you're in it for the long haul and that you're not going anywhere.
May God bless you and your wife as you take this journey together.
You sound like a very sweet man. I do hope that you have some time for yourself too. Do you have any outside help?
There really is no way to answer your question. Dementia isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ sort of thing.
I would do as Alva suggests, speak with your wife’s doctor about any particular behavior issues to see if medication might be helpful.
Wishing you peace as you continue your caregiving journey.
Every case of dementia is as individual as the person's own fingerprint.
You might discuss the loved one you are speaking of with the doctor, and see if there is any medication that may help a bit.
Just so sorry you are going through this.