I am a home health care aide to dementia client in her 80's She comes up with every excuse including that I don't sleep there so she takes it at night. Her son points out he's there at night and knows she hasn't. Should I call my company or should he to possibly get a nurse in to probably force her? Her state caseworker was of no help. It's "not in her department" ????? What? Anyway she only said now to watch for a state caseworker to show up from time to time. Ok will they take her away for not showering? Otherwise everything is clean, there's food, She is no way neglected it's she depressed and doesn't care! She won't shower!!
Example: Mrs S wouldn't you love to feel clean and fresh. Have fresh clothes put on.
I also think asking is not good. My Mom suffered from a Dementia. When asked to do something she always said No. So I didn't ask. I would say "Time for a bath" If she said she didn't want one I would say " but you will stink" then she took it. Not sure if you can tell a client they stink, though. Maybe the son could though. "Mom I think you need to get that aide to give you a good shower, u stink" 😊
At 80, falling in a shower maybe why she doesn't want to get one. Is her tub/shower safe? Are there bars, a shower chair, hand held shower chair? If not, I would have the son purchase them. (Medicare, unless changed in last 9 years, does not pay for shower chairs) You can get temporary suction bars. Is the bathroom warm. If not, use a portable heater to warm it up.
There are dry shampoos. Wipes too.
Those with dementia, regardless of the type, often will refuse to bathe. They are afraid of the water, and it may actually hurt when the water hits them. A bath may be less frightening. Maybe adding a handheld fixture in the bath would help.
My mother refused to shower or bathe for about 2 years and I feel your frustration. But as a resident they can refuse and you can’t force them.
I tried sponge baths and helped my mother reach, rinse, etc. To me it was never enough but some cleaning is better than none. It also depended on my mom’s mood.
I’d enlist the help of your supervisor who could maybe contact the family for support or find another solution.
Many older people lose depth perception which is a reason they will not bathe. Your company can work with the state caseworker to get proper equipment in place and the son could purchase a bright bath mat and tub decals to help with this.
What's puzzling me is how come your company isn't already aware of her routine - don't you write up every visit anyway?