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My dad is 67 and has abused alcohol for years, but been completely cut off and sober for about 2.75 years, after he suffered permanent neurological damage, likely from regular binge drinking, and attemped suicide with sleeping pills that were too weak to kill him. This has left him with what appears to be some sort of combination of MS and Parkinson's; he twitches but also has lots of trouble getting up from sitting, limps, and has to catch himself on walls or objects in a room. He has seen both doctors and alternative specialists, and none of them have been able to diagnose him with anything. He lives in an apartment nearby and is fine on his own most of the time, but I visit him often and have to do a lot of things for him at his place. My parents split up when I was still fairly young, and I am an only child, so he really only has me, even though he had someone else we know take him to the hospital in the middle of this week when he was much weaker and stiffer than usual, and he was just prescribed muscle relaxants. I was supposed to see him today, but he told me last minute not to come over because he was so drowsy he could not keep his eyes open for very long. I wonder if I made a bad move by not going over anyway, and if I should be monitoring his medications, since I don't know exactly what he has only started taking.
I would also like to know if anyone here is dealing with a loved one in a similar situation. My sympathies go out to you all.

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Sounds like maybe an adult group home may be an option but he appears to need more supervision if he can’t take his meds correctly.
Long term alcohol abuse effects the brain quite a bit. His neurological difficulties sound like they are residual effects of drinking. Many times those symptoms get worse over time. A group home may be one solution.
I’ve seen people in their fifties that drank themselves to death. Another had a seizure when he drank so much the alcohol interacted with a med he was taking. This person is in his 50’s. He lost his drivers license due to the seizure.
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lastchanceboy, your dad is pretty young to be having those problems. Many on this forum are in a similar situation in that their LO is living by themselves but are not truly independent. If your dad transitioned into a care community he would be able to get the medical care he needs and some socialization. And you would be able to relax and not worry about him. You can't be very old yourself if he's only 67, so you're probably working and maybe even have a spouse and family. If this is the case, your immediate family comes first. Eventually your dad will need more daily help than you can provide, even if you are willing. I'm hoping you are your dad's durable PoA so that you can legally help him with all that he needs. If this hasn't happened, I urge you to have this discussion with him. There are profound consequences if his cognition declines to where he is no longer competent to sign that legal document. If finances are the issue you may want to consider helping him apply for Medicaid, as it seems he would at least qualify medically. I'm an only child also and I understand the "burden" of being "it". To answer your other question, yes, do go over there if you suspect he's having problems. I don't know how you will "monitor" his meds unless he takes them in front of you every day. Again, another good reason for him to be with others rather than by himself. I wish you much success in sorting this out, and peace in your heart whatever the outcome.
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lastchanceboy98 Jun 2020
Hi Geaton,
Thank you for your reponse. You are right that my dad and I are both much younger than most of the LO's and caregivers respectively on this site, so I was not sure how well others would relate or be able to help, but I have found useful material here. I was unsure if he needed to be put in a care community because he is relatively independent compared to other posters' LO's, although since he is continuing to decline and I am an adult but still have a good chunk of my life ahead of me, it will likely have to happen sooner or later. I think I used the wrong word when I talked about "monitor[ing]" his meds too; I just want more information on what the doctor recently prescribed him and how much he is supposed to take. I trust him a lot more than I did when he was prescribed the sleeping pills almost a few years ago, but the side effect he reported is somewhat concerning. I will definitely talk to him more tomorrow.
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