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So I take care of my wife, who was diagnosed with MS in 2018. Since then, her condition has gotten worse. All she has ever wanted since we meet in 2009 was to be a mother. In 2020 she got her wish. We have a son who will be 2 in April. She did her best to take care of him up until he turned 3 months. After that, her memory, speech and mobility took a turn for the worst. Now she just sits in the same spot on the couch with no emotions and the sense she gave up... Her family is not supportive, not even a phone call. I hide my emotions well, but maybe it's the fact I feel numb and feel hopeless. I try my best to be a husband and a new father, dealing with medical appointments for both my wife and son while holding down work-at-home jobs. It just feels like I am on survival mode... On the upside, I took them to San Diego this month. I took them to the beach, and my son loved it. I try to stay positive and ask God to give me strength. I'm not complaining about taking care of my wife or son. What gets me is that she can't enjoy being the mother she wanted and my son is missing out on his mom. If you believe in prayer, pray for us... Thank you in advance.

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Post natal depression can strike any new Mother. The physical affects, mental affects, massive change in circumstances, often financial too, lack of sleep. On & on.

I would encourage your wife & you to visit her primary Doctor asap.

I would say that for any new parent having a hard time - but especially as MS is part of your lives.

Congratulations on your new baby! I really hope you can get a great team of support for all of you going forward.
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J91Ramirez Mar 2022
Thank you!
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Post partum depression combined with MS can cause a big emotional mess for your wife! Being asked 'how she feels' and getting a 'simple' reply at the doctor's office is NOT ENOUGH! There's nothing 'simple' about MS, post partum depression, and/or depression in general. And it can be successfully treated once the doctor knows & understands what's going on. My next door neighbor has MS and is 55 years old now, with a 25 y/o daughter, a job, and a normal life aside from her MS symptoms which aren't too terribly bad.

Aside from anti-depressants & medications to treat depression, there is counseling available to your wife as well as family counseling. Don't just accept this situation 'as is' and feel hopeless about it.............keep insisting on an ANSWER from her PCP that she get help! Your wife saying she 'feels fine & not depressed' is the opposite of her actions: sitting in the same spot on the couch with no emotions and the sense she gave up......are clear signs of depression that should be addressed. You can speak to her PCP beforehand to let him know of her symptoms, if she's going to say 'nothing is wrong' at the appointment. Obviously, something IS wrong in addition to her MS symptoms.

I'm sorry you are going through this difficult situation and that your son is missing out on interacting with his mom. Sending prayers and hugs your way that the doctor can help your whole family.
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J91Ramirez Mar 2022
Thank you I will definitely find another pcp and address those issues.
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Is she not treating it?

My great Aunt lived for 60 years with MS, 40 of which she raised her children and was an RN. She traveled and was still mobile at 80 years old. Her attitude was all about being strong and not feeling sorry for yourself. Just keep on keeping on was her motto.

Can she get counseling to help her live her best life possible? This isn't typically a death sentence or completely debilitating, however, it can be a gut punch that takes some help to come to terms with.

She needs to fight for herself and her family.
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J91Ramirez Mar 2022
Yes she's on Mavenclad we have seen some improvement... grateful for any progress
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You are an amazing husband! You are an amazing person overall. Devoted, caring, passionate, you have a lot of mental and emotional strength [based on what you wrote] -you'll get far in life! I promise. You are a superhero. Be proud of yourself!

Remember that there's always hope. The worst can turn out to be the best [talking from experience]. Just don't despair. I'll pray for you.
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J91Ramirez Mar 2022
Thank you !
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So sorry for all you’re dealing with. Sounds like you’ve been a terrific husband and dad. Has your wife been evaluated for depression and possible anxiety? There are great meds that help life the mood of people dealing with medical challenges.
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J91Ramirez Mar 2022
when they have asked her question about how she feels her replies are simple, she says she's fine and doesn't feel depressed ....
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MS manifests so differently from person to person.

My aunt was literally on her death bed (my grandmother said she had the color and odor of death and expected to find her dead in the morning) when there was a sudden change overnight -- and I do mean "overnight"! -- and my aunt went on to live a normal life for forty more years.

I just found out two cousins (on the other side of the family, so no genetic connection) have had MS for years but both function fairly normally. Both should be retired by now but they continue to work, one is a rocket scientist (Space Telescope Science Institute) and the other works in a pediatrician's office.

I had a neighbor who developed MS when her two daughters were very young. Her situation sounds like your wife's. She died a few years ago, was probably in her late fifties by then. I am still in touch with her husband and I know there were several testimony videos online by them but can't find them right now. If you would like to connect with him, please send me a PM, as you may be traveling a similar path and I think he could give you some great insight.
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J91Ramirez Mar 2022
Thank you I just sent you a PM
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You have my sympathies. You've been handed a tough situation.
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I am so sorry. My daughter lost two best friends of MS, one quite a famous poet. While there is so much new research on the cause that may eventually help with a cure, it is little comfort now with all you are going through. My heart goes out to you both.
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J91Ramirez, I replied to your PM.
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