My mom's health has been declining for sometime now with lung disease. I'm thinking she may have 6 months or a year left, maybe, I mean God only knows, I'm just wondering if anyone else has worried a lot on how to deal with missing them and grief afterward? I'm just close with my mom, and lived together last ten years also so I wonder if I should get a new home or feel closer to her staying in same place? So odd how so many issues come to mind when you "try" to prepare yourself for a death of a close loved one. Thanks and God bless.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom's condition. I have to agree with meallen, I don't think any of us can ever really prepare for that final moment when our parent's pass. I know I was in denial myself. I never thought my dad would die. Even before his decline we had bought a burial plot, prepared a will and I had handled some other paperwork for him. When he had a stroke, I still thought I could fix him and he would get better and return to his old life. He suffered another heart attack and the doctor told me he had 6 months but he ended up passing 3 days later. It was the worst day of my life. I didn't know how raw I would be, I just didn't. It wasn't real till that moment the doctor told me and I still didn't want to believe it.
One year after his passing, I am struggling the decision to keep the house or buy a new home and start over. Quite honestly most days I don't feel like doing much, so maybe I need more time to make that decision.
I hope you will cherish this time with your mom. And do what you can for her. And maybe try to settle some of the details, but in the end, I really feel there is no preparation for that moment.
You're jumping in to a set of unknowns in the future and most are out of your control. At this moment you can't estimate how you will feel once she passes.
Some issues you do have some control over is what others have said - talk with her now of her wishes for her burial, and does she wish for a service, and what kind?
- if I could suggest attempting to write her obituary or at least notes to go from, now--
- if you are in charge of paperwork, as in the necessary places that will need contact after like banks, pensions etc
HARSH, yes but it may help for your peace of mind afterward-- not searching for papers, or being upset while you have to review her life on paper for the notice.
For now, I found that this time is for sharing your love for them, with them. The time for laughing about the old stories. Playing her favourite music for her. Contacting her friends for a phone call or an actual visit. Asking and telling her everything you can... have found no matter how much time I had with my Mom, the week after her death I have so many questions. We spent so much time together over many years and I've found since her passing I still have questions I know will be forever unanswered. Stuff like which Aunt in England sent her those beautiful doilies decades ago? What was her parents' favourite saying?
I'm sorry your Mom also has dementia... I guess its what questions she'll still have answers to...
Its so hard. So very, very hard.
Your profile says that she has dementia. Are you caring for her in her home? Do you have help?
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