Just wondering. Does anyone enjoy the company of their aging sick loved one? Does anyone ever experience laughter with their aging parent?

For me, it was a mix of ups and downs. Some memories are awful and others are very warm and tender.

I have made a point to focus on the good memories over the tougher times.

Actually Liz today, as frustrating as this all gets, me and mom sat on the front porch, and we kept seeing a chipmunk running past us then running back. Figured out he was running by to go out back to his feeder, that I just filled, and running back by with full checks, he did this over and over until I went and looked and he got all the food.

I do think we get so wrapped up in the miserableness of the situation we forget the good, and we often forget to have fun

There was, sadly, very little to enjoy about my mother’s last years. She was robbed of so much of her abilities that even a simple visit was a challenge. We tried to make the best of it, but still so hard. With my dad, I actually had a lot of fun. Though he undeniably had times of getting down and so very tired of CHF, he was a joking, kind, and fun person. I often told my children their grandfather wasn’t the dad I grew up with, he was far more relaxed and joyous. We had countless doctor’s appointments, grocery and pharmacy trips, outpatient and inpatient surgeries, rehabs, therapies, restaurant meals, and more. He would pray before every meal and always include “thank you Lord for this time with my daughter” He always thanked me for any and all help and never pushed me to do anything additional. I remain grateful and miss my parents a bit each day

Yes, definitely. My husband (stroke survivor) has an excellent, dry sense of humor. For example, when his new fabulous power wheelchair was delivered the medical supply rep went over all its features with us. When the rep pointed out the attached drink holder, I said " Cool. You can use that for a martini!" My husband smiled with a twinkle in his eye and said to the rep, "Well, I wouldn't want to drink and drive."

What a sweet story, actually as difficult as my mom is , now that she is slipping, and thinking back at the last 3 years have been filled with stress, but I did get her to laugh a lot. It was mostly me initiating the jokes but I have been able to get her to laugh. And those are nice memories.

About 5 years ago , I did some caregiving for this wonderful lady, omg she was such a prank stir. She had plastic dog poop, ask me to make her bed and hid it in there. We had the best time. We would do puzzles, and puzzles and puzzles. When it got towards the finish she would hid the last piece, so she could put the last piece off the puzzle in. Wonderful women. Of course it was easier with out the emotional ties that come with loved ones. She went into AL , and actually her funeral is tomorrow, so she has really been on my mind in a sweet, happy, sad way

Thanks for the sweet memories Liz.

So sorry about your mom, not everyone is as lucky as you to have the laughs in your life.

I am so happy for you to have had that time with your parent. I spent a lifetime of being last on my father's list. My thoughts and feelings were not as important as his friends and other family members. Then in his old age I was all he had left and suddenly I was the most important person in the world to him. So many people here take on caregiving hoping to finally get the love and acceptance from a parent they never got as a child. He was finally offering it to me but by this point I no longer cared. And by the time he got to this point he was no longer really capable of remembering the good times or making new ones. He just wanted me around to make sure he was taken care of. I am happy your experience was so much different than mine.

The last true memory I have of my Mom was the day before she had a massive stroke. She lived with me and I took care of her.

( I unfortunately saw the stroke happen, 911 was there quickly, and she went to the Hospital and went into a coma until she passed several days later, after being transferred to a Hospice facility. )

The day before her stroke, we watched TV together. We had an amazing time. We were streaming very old shows of The Dick Van Dyke show. We watched the very first premier show, and then watched the very last show. She was laughing and so happy that day. We watched these old shows, talked about old times. She wanted to watch her favorite, Everybody Loves Raymond. The "She's The One" show (with the fly, for you Raymond fans). She laughed and giggled at that. We had a lovely day. Snacks, fond memories and much laughter.

Then suddenly, the next morning - it all ended.

But, I'll never forget that final day - filled with joy and laughter and friendship. I went to bed that night wishing she'd be that happy every day... even though that's a difficult task for someone who is bed-bound, low vision and partially paralyzed.

I take comfort in knowing that she was loved and happy. That's how I remember her. The first night after she died, I dreamed of her seeing her brothers & sisters and laughing with them, telling old stories. We all have a lifespan, and when mine is over, I want to be laughing the day before, too.

Alva Deer, Thank you for your response. This forum has so many helpful answers for caregivers. I especially learn from your postings.

Liz, How great to hear this from you.
Now I have TWO over five year period.
I remember one other lady living with her Dad on his farm. She actually liked it and they did great together. The problem she was writing about was that he was becoming a bit paranoid about his tools and wanting to bring them into the home. While she could think to accommodate this with shelving, she was worried about any gas implements, and etc. Not knowing how to approach it.

I WILL say that here we have people mostly coming FOR HELP. So they are perhaps not in the best shape to give input that is positive, but wow, do we ever not see much of happy times.

As a retired RN I will say that BEING An RN where most patients were elderly I learned early on that I could not do 24/7 care ever. I knew my limitations and never gave it a try, so best I could do/was asked to do was managing financials for my brother.

I will love watching; I don't hope for Happy-All-The-Time but would love to hear of some satisfaction.

I think it is very difficult to try to be both daughter/spouse AND caregiver. That latter is a position where you have to dictate decisions that are not those of the senior him/herself. And as they are parent of co-equal spouse it isn't conducive to peace.

Thanks for your perspective. I so enjoyed hearing it.