I was the care giver for my aging parent for seven years. (24/7 at my home) There were numerous ambulance rides, MD appointments, surgeries, rehabs, home health aides and lots of meds. She did have a very little bit of short-term memory problems... mostly when she was in a rehab. She was a person who enjoyed life even when sick. There were many jokes, laughter and much enjoyment especially with the grand kids and also when she met new medical people because of her illness. She was a cardiac, pulmonary, and orthopedic patient. She lived with these chronic life threating problems from age 86 to 93. I treasure the years I had with her and so do her grand kids. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I have made a point to focus on the good memories over the tougher times.
I do think we get so wrapped up in the miserableness of the situation we forget the good, and we often forget to have fun
You have a wonderful sense of humor too. Laughter makes everything more bearable.
My husband has a dry wit too. It’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with him.
A sense of humor got me through some tough times in my life.
I am glad that my parents were still able to laugh at certain things.
Life is terribly empty if we can’t laugh at ourselves or particular circumstances.
About 5 years ago , I did some caregiving for this wonderful lady, omg she was such a prank stir. She had plastic dog poop, ask me to make her bed and hid it in there. We had the best time. We would do puzzles, and puzzles and puzzles. When it got towards the finish she would hid the last piece, so she could put the last piece off the puzzle in. Wonderful women. Of course it was easier with out the emotional ties that come with loved ones. She went into AL , and actually her funeral is tomorrow, so she has really been on my mind in a sweet, happy, sad way
Thanks for the sweet memories Liz.
So sorry about your mom, not everyone is as lucky as you to have the laughs in your life.
( I unfortunately saw the stroke happen, 911 was there quickly, and she went to the Hospital and went into a coma until she passed several days later, after being transferred to a Hospice facility. )
The day before her stroke, we watched TV together. We had an amazing time. We were streaming very old shows of The Dick Van Dyke show. We watched the very first premier show, and then watched the very last show. She was laughing and so happy that day. We watched these old shows, talked about old times. She wanted to watch her favorite, Everybody Loves Raymond. The "She's The One" show (with the fly, for you Raymond fans). She laughed and giggled at that. We had a lovely day. Snacks, fond memories and much laughter.
Then suddenly, the next morning - it all ended.
But, I'll never forget that final day - filled with joy and laughter and friendship. I went to bed that night wishing she'd be that happy every day... even though that's a difficult task for someone who is bed-bound, low vision and partially paralyzed.
I take comfort in knowing that she was loved and happy. That's how I remember her. The first night after she died, I dreamed of her seeing her brothers & sisters and laughing with them, telling old stories. We all have a lifespan, and when mine is over, I want to be laughing the day before, too.
Now I have TWO over five year period.
I remember one other lady living with her Dad on his farm. She actually liked it and they did great together. The problem she was writing about was that he was becoming a bit paranoid about his tools and wanting to bring them into the home. While she could think to accommodate this with shelving, she was worried about any gas implements, and etc. Not knowing how to approach it.
I WILL say that here we have people mostly coming FOR HELP. So they are perhaps not in the best shape to give input that is positive, but wow, do we ever not see much of happy times.
As a retired RN I will say that BEING An RN where most patients were elderly I learned early on that I could not do 24/7 care ever. I knew my limitations and never gave it a try, so best I could do/was asked to do was managing financials for my brother.
I will love watching; I don't hope for Happy-All-The-Time but would love to hear of some satisfaction.
I think it is very difficult to try to be both daughter/spouse AND caregiver. That latter is a position where you have to dictate decisions that are not those of the senior him/herself. And as they are parent of co-equal spouse it isn't conducive to peace.
Thanks for your perspective. I so enjoyed hearing it.