My 91 year old Grandmother has recently started having delusions that her neighbors are after her and are starting fires in the middle of the night on her roof. She is under doctors' care, who haven't been able to diagnose her yet (this is all still very new). She calls 911 and the fire dept at least 2x a week... I've tried to tell them not to come, but they come and they are angry! This has been going on for 5 months. They keep telling us to put her in a home WELL, IT'S NOT THEIR G'MA AND THEY ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS SO THEIR OPINION is based on them being "put out". She has nighttime care so she's not scared. She still pays her bills, baths, laundry, cleans house, emails me, etc. and does not want a "baby sitter" during the day, which I understand AND respect. But.... I don't know how to keep her from calling 911... Any advise is appreciated!
Huge Mom calling twice in a year for legitimate reasons is not a reason to institutionalize your hubby. If you are calling for something like help getting hubby off the floor and he does not need transporting then naturally you will be charged for that call as you probably will when he does need transporting depending on your insurance.
As a hospice nurse I had called them many times when a patient fell or got stuck on the toilet or even just to move them to a hospital bed in another part of the house. i even called the police once to see if they had a key to an apartment building because the patient was too sick to ring me in. They did not have a key but the fire dept across the street did and an officer got the key and let me in. He offered to come in with me to help. Many of our emergency services in this rural area have lots of volunteers who monitor their radios even if they are not called. It was therefor not unusual to find volunteers living close by to be already at the house long before the ambulance turned up. if i got a young crew who www arrogent and it did happen, Ijust put on my best Gma face and said in a strong British accent that would have done her majesty proud. "Young man I am old enough to be your grandma now just get on and do what you are told " For some reason EMTs seem to think they know more than RNs.
Huge Mom as far as getting hubby into care, I am sure you have thought of everything you can think of. Does he already have medicaid? Next time you can get him to an emergency room tell them you can no longer care for him. Now I know you are a big lady so be prepared to stand firm while young girls in seasonally themed scrubs yell and scream and tell you you can't do that. It will be likely to get quite nasty and you will be upset but stand your ground. If hubby actually has something that requires admission for at least three days he may be able to go for rehab and you can take it from there. Make sure he is actually admitted and not just kept under "observation" which is another trick they have up their sleeves. It won't be easy but it can be done without standing on a street corner holding a red flashlight and wearing a mini skirt.
I know you feel you have to, on some level, defend Grandma. It’s hard to see someone you love acting like this. But also, Grandma cannot continue taking the emergency services away when someone might truly need them. What does the aide do when she calls? Is the aide trained to deal with her delusions? Maybe talk to Grandma when she’s having a good day and tell her to call a family member. You can’t take her phone away. My mom called 9-1-1 three times in a week. That’s when I knew something was wrong and I kept after the doctors until they got it together and she was diagnosed with dementia and placed in a home. I know this is very hard to accept. Part of you is saying something is wrong and part of you is saying no way, she’s my grandma. I hope it all works out for you and your grandma soon.
Sorry I said G'ma when you were speaking of your mom. How is she? Have you heard anything since she was taken for evaluation?
disturbing as it probably has been for her.
Often the closest people to a loved one are the last to see that something is actually wrong.
Clearly gma needs to be in a more supervised living arrangement and you made it clear that it could not be with you.
You said she had a night time care giver. If she sleeps all night she is a total waste of money.
She should have a comfortable chair with good lighting close to Mom's door so she can hear when the phone is used.
I know many caregivers have daytime jobs and expect to be able to sleep most of the night. if they need to sleep at night they should find a different type of 2nd job.
Sorry about your g'ma. Some will suggest that you start a new thread but it's good that you did a search and have seen some of the responses you were likely to get had you started a new one. Also good for others reading this site to know what might happen.
If your g'ma agrees to take the medication she will be offered, it might help and it might not. How old is she? Does she have other issues? Was she checked for a UTI? She probably will be now. Were you or one of the family able to speak with her the facility where she was taken? Some of her background info might be helpful to them. Let them know about her sight. I hope she gets some help. Come back and let us know how it goes.
Hope I can find answers here.
My mother recently called 911 when she thought she was alone at home and became confused and scared. I have contemplated taking her phone but in the mean time, I had the 911 Center put a note on our address that they are to call my cell phone if they receive a call from her (she lives in an attached apartment to our house and has her own phone line but same address).
Of course it helped that I am affiliated with the 911 Center so all I had to do was walk in and discuss it with them but you may experience similar success if you have the right approach.
If she is capable of complete self care, it is would be strange that the only odd behavior she exhibits is the paranoia and calling 911. You might want to delve a little deeper because she probably is not self caring and handling things as well as it appears to you on the surface. She is 91 and dementia symptoms are different in each case.
Before her husband passed Mom's husband (at 85) seemed normal too, then we found out how much money he was sending to different charities he got in the mail, etc.
Mom at 91 seemed to be fine living in a house, on her own. But little by little we began to notice little "quirks". We finally got her to move to AL, and the "quirks" increased with age (writing notes all over the place, moving things around, figuring her checkbook over and over, calling the desk and reporting the housekeeper stole her jewelry, her clothes, her purse. She began to hide her purse and her jewelry.
What I'm saying is, this is the first sign that your family needs to start researching because she will be heading for AL eventually.
Also, if she continues to call 911, there could be consequences, financially for her. It could also mean they will eventually report her to social services to intervene if you don't.
I understand you want her to have her freedom and independence as long as she can, but it is going to mean she needs more oversite from family to protect her.
Needless to say I have to do countless cleanup from her calling 911 calling the PD calling lawyers calling Doctors. it would be so simple to just limit her access to the phone. Her dementia has really put a stress on the family everyone is on guard they are going to be accused of something
I had a patient who wanted longer hours from her CNA. She enjoyed her company and wanted her to spend time on things other than personal care which was the purpose of her visits. The nursing supervisor denied these requests which angered the patient. On one of my visits when I had fed the dog and cooked a meal, which were not my duties either, I explained to her that if she allowed the aide to even do something like wash her hair she might get more time. It worked and everyone was happy. As the saying goes ' there is more than one way of killing a cat" I have not given you a solution I know, sometimes there just is not one.
Your grandmother's problem with calling 911 is because she truly believes she's in trouble. I think Blannie's suggestions might be a good idea to try - that is if you can get her to the doctor so that he can prescribe her medications. And even then, it will be trying to get her to take the meds regularly. BUT, let's take it one step at a time. And do process of eliminations.
I'm going to tell her she's going to start getting charged... love that idea, hope it works! I doubt it will, but I'm praying!
You will receive some very outrageous or off-the-wall answers. Just pick and choose which ones apply. Pstiegman was giving you the worst case scenario. Blannie gave you the most helpful answer. Macada gave you an answer that you didn't want since you've been told this several times - and you were seeking New Answers.
My father has the same problem with the phone. He calls all the time the hospital, the clinic, the home care store, the surveyor, etc... He used to call the 911 operator. Out flew MY "respect your elder" attitude. We got into an argument over the misusing of calling 911. I finally drummed it into his head that as long as he DOES NOT call 911, he will have the phone near his hospital bed. But if I find out he's calling 911, I'm taking the phone away. He has not called 911 since. But his situation is very different from your grandmother.
We each have our way of dealing with those of dementia or senility or whatever is in our situation. Just take the answers that you like and respond. Trust me, you have NOT felt some of the posters here on AC who actually attack you. You will know it when you read it. Then I would say, gloves off and go at that poster.
PSTIEGMAN: You shouldn’t even be responding if that is your answer! County 5150 is NO PLACE FOR A 91 YEAR OLD! Shame on you!
Here are some ideas short of taking the phone away. Can your grandmother call you or another family member first, if she's thinking there's something going on at night? Can you reassure her that she's OK and nothing bad is happening? Since you say she has a caregiver at night, is the caregiver aware that she's calling? Can she speak to the fire dept or 911 people to explain that there is nothing going on? Or could the caregiver walk your grandmother outside to see there isn't a fire on the roof?
Or as a last resort, can your grandmother's docs give her some medications so that she sleeps through the night? On the Mayo Clinic site, they mention melatonin as a possible aid to sleep disturbances with people with sundowning.
In most places that I'm aware of, the police/fire departments will start charging people for coming to false calls. If your grandmother is like a lot of older folks and is concerned about money, maybe telling her she'll start being charged for the calls may slow her down if she's able to remember that.