How can keep siblings from parents' estate?
My siblings have made social service assistance their careers and have a plethora of other issues. My parents are ill, but not terminal (yet). My parents are concerned that my siblings will try to have them deemed as unfit to care for themselves and will get their hands in their financials, take their money, and leave them out to dry. My siblings live in the same town, I live thousands of miles away; if something happens to my parents I won't be able to get to where they live before my siblings get to the house and sell everything or deplete the accounts, or protect my parents and their property. My parents want me to handle everything and do not want my siblings to have any say so in their affairs. What can I do and what can my parents do to try and prevent my siblings from destroying my parents' lives?
My parents moving to where I am is not an option. Neither are unfit in any way. I talk to my parents weekly, at the very least, and they are of sound minds.
My siblings have always been troublesome for my parents and though they live by my parents, the only time they talk to them is when they want something, usually money. My siblings have stolen from my parents (and me) in the past, and have been too busy to take them to appointments (for example, if my parent couldn't drive for some reason) until my parents offered to fill up their car with gas (in one of the states that gasoline is the highest in the nation), buy them a meal, and give them money for their time and trouble (usually $100 is the 'going rate' for helping our parents).
Obviously, I have no respect for my siblings; but that aside, I want to make sure my parents, their home and finances aren't trampled on, stolen, besieged and left for dragon fodder until I get there.
What can I and my parents do to prevent this? Any information and input is greatly appreciated.
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I sincerely appreciate you all. I will be finding an elder attorney to help, and my parents have already begun the process on their end.
It's a sensitive topic, and for years I've been timid to speak with my parents about it. I haven't spoken to my siblings in years, but my parents have kept me informed of their antics. It breaks my heart that I can't be there by their side, and I am always worried about them. Since one sibling has recently approached them about their health situations and their finances, my parents are even more anxious to get their futures settled and your information will be helpful.
Thank you again, I'm a little more confident that my siblings will not ruin my parents' future for which they have worked many long and hard years.
Do listen to Igloo and VW their advice is exactly what I would have said!
BUT trusts can be problematic IF mom & dad need to apply for Medicaid in the future. Each state administers Medicaid under their own rules but within federal guidelines. Some states are more flexible on trusts while others view it as Medicaid asset avoidance. Please make sure your attorney is experienced in elder law as it applies for your state. Most estate attorneys are about taxes and probate & generational pass through which is fine but alot of these are viewed by Medicaid as deliberately done to avoid having countable resources for Medicaid.I'd suggest getting a NAELA attorney. This site has a drops-down list of elder law attorneys by state, I'd start there.
What I have found in this journey with my mom & MIL, is that unless they are generationally wealthy, if they live long enough they will run out of money and the caregivers (whether family or hired) will run out of steam or ability to take care of their needs @ home, and they will need to enter a NH. They will need to eventually apply for Medicaid to pay for the NH. So you need to pro-actively plan that whatever you do with their $ and assets that it will work in the future for Medicaid.
For Medicaid, there are the initial resources that exist when they apply for Medicaid and then there are also those resources that exist after their death and subject to MERP (Medicaid estate recovery). Like an enhanced benefit trust (aka Lady Bird deed) is MERP exempt for TX, MI and a couple of other states but most states do not allow that type of trust to be exempt on property. This is the sort of thing a good elder law attorney will know and take into account in doing a plan for your parents. Also they will be your point person since you are not living in the state. The para-legals at the firm will be important to you too. Good luck.