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Both my parents are incapacitated. How can we keep our house after they pass? We never had a will or any papers on this. My dad has alzheimers and my mom has dementia. she is in a nursing home and my dad soon will be. we have owned this house for over 40 years

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OG, I did get your PM and will answer it, but just wanted to thank you for the response. If this post turns up on a pinkish to red background, you'll know that it's because I'm blushing from the compliments!

You have a good approach - think out the possibilities, develop options for any that might occur so that you have your contingencies defined.

Those "funny feelings" are often wrong, so try not to let anxiety develop. Been there, done that. Not so good.

I was told by some nurses several years ago that cancer is not necessarily considered a terminal illness, but rather one that needs to be managed and can span several years, such as diabetes. Obviously it depends on the cancer and the stage at diagnosis.

But if you focus on making plans it might relieve some of the apprehension and "funny feeling" you have.

The backup Trustee concept sounds good; just make sure it's all incorporated into any Trust Amendment or Restated Trust.

Best wishes, and please keep us up to date.
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Garden Artist I don't know if you got my answer or not. I don't know if it got erased by accident or I sent it. You are GOOD. Great memory. You got it all right. If you really think everything through, it all comes together. He has a trust and I am trustee so he will be deeding from Trustee to MY trust. My trust then protects my children in obtaining what I have left when I pass.

You are so right. I have a Biopsy in two weeks. They asked if I wanted to do it earlier and I said no. I have so many things to think out. I have not told my Partner about this as he has enough to worry about. I am planning (I am good at that) as to what to do re My Partner if the test proves positive. I have been threatened with cancer in the breast in the past and was able to dodge the bullet. This time, I have a funny feeling about it. I have placed a different back up Trustee who is very very reliable. They would come and stay with him while I am in the hospital. Of course, I would love to have him there, but it might be too much for him. If he insists, I am sure our backup would take charge of it. I love living in the middle of nowhere, but traveling to large hospitals is quite a drive, min 2 hours one way, Thank you so much for your insight. I will feel better when everything is in order.
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OG, if you are named on a presumably Quit Claim Deed, as Trustee, then you hold interest in that capacity only. I assume that the wording is something to the effect that Partner conveys to himself, any any successor Trustee, but not you specifically. Your responsibility as well as your interest then are to handle the property conveyed by the deed in accordance with the terms of his Trust.

If I recall correctly, both you and your son are beneficiaries?

If you want direct conveyance from him to you individually, he has to convey as Trustee to you, since if I understand it correctly that's how he would be holding title.

As to negatives, if you hold fee title to the house you're responsible for it, to taxing authorities, for homeowners' insurance, keeping it up, etc. If I recall correctly you're a bit uncertain about life since learning you'll be having a biopsy. If you work and end up taking leave because of any negative results from the biopsy, keeping up the house and its obligations might be something to think about.
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Is there a negative to having my Partner sign his home over to me instead of just being on the deed as Trustee? And, I am drawing up a contract for payment....My attorney said she has never done a contract like this. What other than chores and what I do, has to be in the contract? Anyone know these answers???
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Are your parents able to pay for the nursing home, or are they/will they be on Medicaid?

Have you been caring for your parents, living in their home, up until their nursing home stay?
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Speak to a lawyer about a "Ladybird Clause" My mother has one and her house will immediately go to me without probate, taxes, etc. Hope this helps
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me and my sisters and brother. no none of us are on the deed.
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Who is the "we" who owns the house? Is your name on the deed?

Are your parents paying for the nursing home, or are they on Medicaid?

I think if you provide this information you will get knowledgeable answers from members who know about these things.
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