Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Married 57 yrs. This past year has really been rough trying to take care of him and get him to apts. We have long term care so financially I will be ok. It just seems like I am giving up on him. My health issues concern them.
You are not giving up on him, my friend. You will be able to give him the attention he needs from you far longer if you have the help of ASL so that you can stay healthy and cared for yourself. It's as vital to him that you take care of yourself as his health is to you. I think your family loves you both and wants the best for both of you. Getting help from professionals is not giving up. It's a step toward more health and safety for both of you.
This change will be difficult, as any big change is. However, in the end, I think you'll be glad you made the change. Do remember that adjustment takes time too, so complaints are to be expected.
Carol wrote exactly what I was thinking after I read your post.
You wouldn't be giving up on your husband by moving into ASL, you would be taking an opportunity to give yourself a rest while enjoying time with your husband knowing that assistance, if needed, is close by. The stress and pressure of caregiving day in and day out would be lifted and the time you spend with your husband would be all quality time as opposed to being a full-time caregiver.
It is a big decision to make and if you decide that going to ASL is the best option for the two of you moving will be difficult but it would only be a temporary stressor and once you are moved in I think you'll find that you made the right choice.
Your adult children sound very caring and attentive. I'm sure they worry about you and their dad. Don't move to make them happy but consider their suggestion.
The critical factors to me are that your husband is unable to stand or walk. That's an indication that assistance is needed on a 24/7 basis, whether it's in a facility or at home with arranged care.
I also agree that you're not giving up; rather, you're refocusing, taking a different direction, and considerating a different level and type of help that will be more suited to his needs at this time and in the future.
You're displaying a problem solving and adaptive attitude, not one of surrender.
The only other alternative would be to arrange for constant support, which can be done. A friend of our family took care of her bedridden husband for 3 years during the last stages of AD, but she arranged for ample help to assist her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
This change will be difficult, as any big change is. However, in the end, I think you'll be glad you made the change. Do remember that adjustment takes time too, so complaints are to be expected.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Carol
You wouldn't be giving up on your husband by moving into ASL, you would be taking an opportunity to give yourself a rest while enjoying time with your husband knowing that assistance, if needed, is close by. The stress and pressure of caregiving day in and day out would be lifted and the time you spend with your husband would be all quality time as opposed to being a full-time caregiver.
It is a big decision to make and if you decide that going to ASL is the best option for the two of you moving will be difficult but it would only be a temporary stressor and once you are moved in I think you'll find that you made the right choice.
Your adult children sound very caring and attentive. I'm sure they worry about you and their dad. Don't move to make them happy but consider their suggestion.
I also agree that you're not giving up; rather, you're refocusing, taking a different direction, and considerating a different level and type of help that will be more suited to his needs at this time and in the future.
You're displaying a problem solving and adaptive attitude, not one of surrender.
The only other alternative would be to arrange for constant support, which can be done. A friend of our family took care of her bedridden husband for 3 years during the last stages of AD, but she arranged for ample help to assist her.